Life Is Short, Wear Your Party Pants

Yes, this is a post about death, but it’s more importantly a post about living. Not the, throw all caution to the wind and live fast & hard (well you can if you want), it’s a post about living as you, the best that you can, for as long as you can. I’ve always known, seen and understood death. I think I was 15 the first time someone I knew committed suicide. From then on it became a fast world of funerals for those early battlers of HIV, more suicides and then the family deaths started. So here at 44, I have lost a brother, my father, my mother, my grandmother, friends, distant family and colleagues. My other grandparents and 2 siblings were gone before I was even born. Death surrounds us. It’s part of life. We can’t outrun it. We can’t ignore it. Yet each time someone I know dies, it hits me a little differently. This year has been no exception. I want to talk about 2 exceptional women that have been taken way to soon. 2 women who were mothers, friends, partners, siblings, daughters, ballsy feisty talented and so much more. Individuals who touched the lives of so many people in their short time in this existence. I’m not going to get all existential and question what happens when we move on, as we all have such different beliefs. For what it’s worth though, I do believe life can’t possibly end when this body does. I’m going to talk about the impact their passing has had on me. Let’s start with a F Load. Yep, I’ve cried, I’ve been angry and I’ve cowered in disbelief. How can Annie who fought so hard for so long have lost her fight, and how on earth can Amy be a ball of energy one minute and gone the next? Then that internal argument starts, is it better to know it’s coming, or to just go? I don’t know. Nobody does, and we can’t ask those that it’s happened to. Was I a best friend to either of them? No, however in their lives and in their passing they have both impacted me greatly. Both of these women lived their lives with integrity and love. Both seemed to be on paths that were 100% theirs to be on. Both had a grace and an elegance that comes with being you. Yet they were very different women. Yet they were taken too soon. They have left young children and partners behind. My heart breaks when I think about their loss, as I have no understanding of what that is like. Eulogising them is not my place. Being grateful for the time their lives intertwined with mine is. My friend @RupertNoffs shared this recently. Beautiful. “I am a child of the stars. My body, like the clothes I wear will one day belong to the dust of the centuries. My spirit is immortal and belongs to the universe. Our sons and daughters are the princes and princesses of an eternal kingdom. They inherit the riches and resources of this planet for a span, until they continue their journey through time and space.” ~ Rev Ted Noffs Life is short, wear your party pants. I love that line. It’s the title of a book by Loretta LaRoache. I think it’s what my next show at Claire’s will be based on. Life is short so why the F do we waste so much of that precious time on such insignificant things? When you come to this realisation, there’s no point feeling guilty or angry about time you’ve wasted. That’s as pointless as it is to not forgive someone – it’s only causing you trauma. The only thing worth doing when you have that moment when the true sanctity of life hits you like a lightning bolt, is to change. Shit. Change. For some, that’s probably scarier than death (or public speaking). I fear change. I’ll admit it. I like comfort zones. I like the known. Yet all I can think about at the moment is change. It’s a knot tightening around my chest. Invading my every thought. The change doesn’t have to be big, but it has to be meaningful. I’ve done so much journaling in the last few week. So much contemplation. Weighed up so many pros and cons. What have I come up with? Well, it’s to keep going. To make my goals my priorities. To commit to saying NO. To evaluate each situation with a life & death questioning. I don’t mean that in a ridiculously crazy melodramatic way (although I’ll admit to creating drama in the past, to get through my life). I mean it in a significance way. Is what I am thinking, doing, being etc something that I would be happy with if it was my last day. If I even hesitate on this, I really need to wonder why the F, I”m doing it. We could all be taken at any moment. So make every single one of those moments count. Getting embroiled in a drama on Facebook, or binging MAFS is probably not top priority, sitting having dinner with loved ones or writing that book you always dreamed of – probably is! At both of the celebrations of life for Annie and Amy, I have made a commitment to them to not waste another precious breath. I will honour them and the others that have passed way to soon, but living my life. Not in fear or hesitation but with courage and on purpose – always, not just in those moments of total confidence and security. Don’t wait. Put on those metaphorical ‘party pants’ and live each day 100% you.

You Are What You Read

First post in what feels like a gazillion years. I won’t update you with everything that’s been going on – if you follow me (which I hope you do) on social media you will have seen that 2018 was a wild ride, and I’ll touch on much of it over the course of the next few posts. For now, I want to talk about reading.  I’ve always been a reader.  It’s the ultimate in escapism and can give you so much in probably every single area of your life.  From The Magic of Tidying Up to Becoming Michelle Obama.  You can find a book on any topic in any language (ok maybe a book on sex in middle English would be hard to find). Books feed my soul and my mind. So I read.  When I’m not reading I listen. Then some days I write – much of which will never see the light of day, and that’s ok.  It’s cathartic.  It rejuvenates my creative brain.  Gives me an outlet to share thoughts, that don’t want to be spoken outl oud. Anyway, I digress. I turn 45 in June 2019 and I have my #45by45 list.  One of the items on that list is 45 books. I had plans to post a review of each book, but you know what?  You can review them on any of the major book sites and blogs that specialise in reviews! I thought I’d share what I’ve been reading so far this year.
  1. The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes
  2. Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola
  3. The Ultimate Jim Rohn Library by Jim Rohn 
  4. The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide by Heidi Priebe
  5. Own the Day, Own Your Life by Aubrey Marcus 
  6. The Craving Mind by Jon Kabat-Zinn 
  7. Kick Ass by Mel Robbins
  8. The Brain Fog Fix by Dr Mike Dow
  9. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence by Dr Aziz Gazipura
  10. Judgement Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein
  11. The Power of Charisma by Dan Strutzel
  12. Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin
  13. The 21-Day Self-Confidence Challenge by 21 Day Challenges
  14. The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
  15. The Millionaire Next Door by Stanley & Danko
  16. You Are A Badass Every Day by Jen Sincero
  17. No Excuses by Brian Tracy
  18. Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port
  19. Be Obsessed or Be Average by Grant Cardone
  20. High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
  21. The Confidence Code by Kay & Shipman
  22. The Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard
  23. Unshakeable by Tony Robbins
So 6 months in, and I’m at 23 (I think I’ve actually forgotten a couple oops).  I’ve got this.  #45by45 I have also read a couple of fiction pieces, and some coffee table type books when I wanted a bit of a chillax read. Even if only a teeny tiny % of the books you read and absorbed by your brain – feed it the good stuff.  I’m on a mission at the moment, so yes, it’s primarily motivation and business – my core interests.  As they change, as I grow, my reading list changes. On the pile for the next 6 months are lots of biographies, music, creativity and more. Can’t wait.