[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 102 Transcript: How Do You Know You’re Setting The Right Goal?

by | Apr 13, 2020 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Good evening. I’ve gone back to trying to use my laptop for the lives. Let’s see how this goes. Oh, hello Charlie. She’s got to say hi. Tonight I wanted to talk about how do you know when … You can see the little light thing. How do you know when you’re actually setting the right goal? For many of us, we set goals and we think they’re right. They might be based on conversations with other people. It might be based on what you’ve seen. It might be based on, I don’t know, something when you were little. Your mom said, “You should get that in life.” By the way, a goal is not find a Prince and ride off into the sunset. It’s not a smart goal, but more about that another day. How do you know? Apart from … One of the ways I know I definitely liked people to work with is trusted gut. That intuition, that feeling that you know you’re on the right path. That’s as good a place as any to start, I think. I personally think.

There were other ways. Look at your values in life and how your goal might fit in with them. That’s a really good way of knowing if it’s the right goal for you. If it’s not aligned … If you’ve got your values and your goals and they’re not aligned, they’re like that, then it’s not the right goal for you. You can’t commit. You won’t put in the work. You’ll start to feel a bit of resentment or a bit of resistance towards what you want to do if that goal is not beautifully aligned with your values. I don’t think we talk about values enough. I’ve talked about them a couple of times. Chances are I’m going to keep talking about them cause I think it’s really important to talk about values. There is no shame around any values. Just be true to your values is what I say.

Another couple of ways you can look at, how do you know if it’s the right goal? You can do that good old fashioned, when I’m on my deathbed, will I be saying I wish I’d worked harder and spent less time with the kids? I don’t mean any disrespect by making a crack about that, but you know what I mean. If you put yourself … The future you, are you going to regret not being able to say, I went for that? Not even necessarily I achieved that, but I worked my ass off in the pursuit of my goal. That’s the big one I think is actually the action because it’s not … We’ve all heard the saying, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. It truly is. As you’re doing something in life, you become a different person. You learn new skills, you get rid of baggage, you expand your mind. Personal development out the wazoo. That’s another one to really look at.

Pinterest - If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes - Samantha LeithLook at how does your goal … We talked about the values ones, but look at values, how you feel, your deathbed. Number one is how is your goal contributing to the world or to the people you love. Whatever your passion is. If you’re a very passionate environmentalist, is your goal contributing in that? In some way is your goal reaching others rather than it just being you-centric. That’s a good one. On that, when it is you-centric, cause they’re going to expand you. If it’s a goal that’s … Whatever, you could do it tomorrow … You could do it tomorrow drunk and with your eyes closed. Then, that’s not really a goal. That’s probably just something that needs to be on your to do list for example. There are a couple of things I want you to look at.

The other one is a bit of a funny analogy, but I think it works. When you’re shopping and you see something and you really, really love it and you go, “Oh God, it’s just that bit too much money. No, I don’t want to spend that money at the moment.” Then you ask yourself the question … I’ve been making assumptions here. I ask myself this question. I say to myself, “If I don’t buy it now on full price and I come back next week and it’s on sale, but my size is gone, will I be disappointed?” You’re taking the money mattering out of the equation. If it was on sale, would I buy it? Yes. Would I be upset if I don’t buy it now cause I really like it and I come back and my size has gone? Would that gut me?

I used this once with Ellody years ago. She wanted this unicorn leather jacket. I was not going to put the sequins on the back. I wasn’t going to pay for it. She didn’t need it. I said to her, “Will you be disappointed if you come back and it’s gone?” She was like, “Yeah, I really want this jacket.” I think she was 10 at the time. I made a deal with her. I was like, “It’s school holidays next week. You’re going to come and do some work for me or my family business in the factory.” She sticks labels on stuff. Child labor, shh. I said, “I’ll loan you the money, but how many hours do you need to work to pay for that jacket?” She worked it all out and stuff and she bought that jacket. She truly would have been really disappointed not getting that jacket.

I think you need to look at your goals like that. If you think to yourself, if my circumstances change in a month, in a year and I haven’t started work on that goal, will I be bitterly disappointed in myself in the world and where I’m at, how I’m feeling? Will that impact me having not worked on it? Will the working on it regardless of the outcome, does that feel better, the possibility of not working on it and being in the same situation? Whether it’s business, money works, sex, weight, whatever the goal is, will working on it in some form, be a better option than letting that go? If the answer is you will be devastated if in six months, 12 months time, that goal is gone and you didn’t work on it … You missed an opportunity. You’re six months behind the eight ball.

You can always pick it up again, in most cases with most goals. Will that disappointment in yourself be worse than the stress, the adrenaline, the commitment, et cetera to get started on that goal now? If the answer’s yes, then get started on the goal. Don’t miss the unicorn jacket. If you really want it, calculate how many hours you need to work in that factory, minus buying your own lunch cause your mother won’t make your lunch when you’re working, and get started on the goal. That’s it. It’s just start. All it takes is starting and the momentum of moving forward, moving forward, moving forward. We really loved that about that last week at UPW.

I’m going to do a whole download this week. One of the lives this week will be about everything I learnt there. That’s going to be a long one. I might need to do a couple. The momentum moving forward. If that goal is going to really upset you to not go for it, that’s when you really know it’s a goal for you. Don’t miss the unicorn jacket. Don’t miss the unicorn … That can be my new mantra. Don’t miss the unicorn jacket. If you really want something, get the unicorn jacket. There you have it. That’ll be it.

Tell me what you’re doing for your goals at the moment. I would love to hear. Let me know if this is better on my lap top. I’m still not quite sure where to look. Straight in the green light. I’m getting there. A hundred and couple of days in, I’m getting better. Night-night.

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