[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 139 Transcript: Indulging In Overwhelm

by | May 27, 2020 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Hey, happy Saturday night. I don’t know if I have… Okay. I think this could be a first, I don’t think I’ve done a live in gym gear. Hmm. So we tick that one off the box. Today I wanted to talk about something I got hit with in the face today. About an acceptance of myself, an understanding, a realization a… What do you call it? A… I’ve lost the ability to speak.

Yeah. A realization and acknowledgement of something. So we all have indulgences. We can indulge in things that make ourselves feel good, and we can also indulge in things that make us feel bad. But did you know that you can actually indulge in things that actually prevent you from doing stuff? I’ll give you my example. Today I, hand on my heart admit I indulge myself in overwhelm. And it’s really hard for me to say that’s true, because it’s true.

So I’m like, “No, I’m not going to admit it’s true.” But it’s true. So I am the person with the to do lists… And God, I used to coach people in businesses systematization. It’s to do lists and goals and the books I need to read, just look at the shelf. And the targets for this date and this is going to be done here and the schedules and the calendar organization and then this and then this and then that. And all of that can get really, really overwhelming. Like get absolutely get overwhelming.

And today I realized about myself that I indulge in that overwhelm. Well I have had a habit, sorry. I have recognized that I have a habit of indulging in that overwhelm. And what I mean by that is I can use the gravity of all that stuff that’s going on or got to get done or I want to achieve or I want to study or I want to learn or I want to share or places I need to be, any of those things.

Pinterest - You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass - Samantha LeithI kind of in one way use it to make myself feel good because I’ve got all this stuff going on. And then on the flip side, use it to kind of paralyze myself… Sorry, in the middle, kind of use it to paralyze myself into inaction because there’s so much going on. And then on the complete flip side, I indulge in using it to make me feel bad because I didn’t get everything I wanted to get done done. So there’s a three… How many fingers am I holding up? Three prong approach.

the ring I was wearing yesterday, oh my God. Three prong approach to what’s going on with that overwhelm. I truly, wasn’t until someone said something to me today and I went, “Oh wow. Yeah, I’m indulging in overwhelm.” And so I was like, what, okay. Accept, you can’t change anything if you don’t accept and acknowledge what’s going on. Always the first step. Whether it’s a feeling, whether it’s an action, whether it’s a financial thing, the first step to changing anything is acknowledging it’s happening.

So I was like, okay. What can I do in this moment to help get myself out of that? Because I was feeling manky about it, like absolutely manky about it today. Especially because it’s been a big week, so the things I wanted to achieve this week haven’t happened. Just plain and simply haven’t happened. So I feel like I’ve let myself down. I’ve let down people that are on my team that are getting stuff done, I let some people I’m doing some assessment work down.

And I actually physically couldn’t have changed my timing to get anything done this week, but I put way too much on my plate, which is that overwhelm, which is like, “Oh well see, I’m so busy. Oh, but I’m so busy so I can’t get anything done. Oh my God, I’ve been so busy. I haven’t been able to get anything done.” So it just goes bang, bang, bang, bang. And it’s so inefficient and so bad for us. So bad for me made, me feel like crap. I don’t want to feel like crap. Bleh, bleh, bleh. I like feeling good. You know that choose happy video? I like that feeling.

So today I was like, okay, what can I do about it? What can I do about it? There is six weeks before Elodie and I go away for a few weeks at Christmas time. There’s eight weeks before the end of the year. In fact there’s 61 days left before the end of 1919. 1919… 2019, gosh, I’ve just lost a hundred years. That’s funny. What can I do so I’m not in this state for the next few weeks? Because I don’t want to be in the state for the next few weeks. Snap out of it, honey. Like Sam get out of that shit out of your head.

So I was like, okay, I need to take some of the stuff off my load. Like take some of that stuff off my plate. So what am I adding to it that’s creating this overwhelm that I’m indulging in and it’s just creating this inaction. So I looked at the goals I’d set for myself at the end of the year. And there were five that I wanted to have done by the end of the year and I’ve reduced that to three. Gone, two. And I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t feel like I’ve failed. I don’t feel like I’ve given up.

Because I’ve recognized in myself that all the stuff I was setting myself to get those five things done by the end of the year, was just having me run around in circles like a chicken with their head chopped off and I wasn’t going to get what I wanted done anyway. So instead of creating like this… You know when you put it an insinkerator on at home in the sink and you push button and it goes .

I was starting to feel a bit like that. Like it’s just churning, like going around, around, around, all the stuff’s going to get done . And there’s like the Energizer Bunny and . And it’s just impossible to actually maintain and it’s actually really inefficient because there’s a… Okay hear me here. It’s good to be busy. Busy people actually achieve more than non-busy people.

A lot of busy people achieve a lot more than non-busy people. You give a busy person a task, they’re like bam, bam, bam, get it done. But there’s a difference between being busy efficiently and doing what I feel had really fallen into, was the busyness of being busy, which was creating this overwhelm, which I was being completely indulgent and it was making me go, “Oh well I’ve got too much, I can’t do anything. . see, I’m not going to get that done. .

So all I did today was go, okay, five things. Can’t do it all. Let’s get rid of two of them. So there’s now three things that I’ll be writing down in my journal every day, not five. And that’s okay. They can be moved into next year. And that frees up some space for me to do more creating to help me get to those three things. It frees up some more space for me to enjoy the next few weeks and of Sydney. It frees up space for me to have time with Elodie, it frees up space for me to do something about my hair. I need a haircut. Joseph, I need a hair cut.

Frees up space for a whole lot of stuff. So maybe more face masks. And that feels good, that feels like the right thing to do. So I just ask you the question, if you were like me and you keep yourself busy and doing lots of things, are you using that? Are you indulging in that? Like is it something you kind of creating yourself to keep you stuck?

To keep you in a space of not being your best, not doing your best work, not showing up the way you want to show up? And how for who you want to show up. My challenge to you tonight. So have a think about it and I’ll see you tomorrow. Happy Saturday night. Elodie’s making dinner.

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