Oh, no, I’ve started dancing in my office now.
Hi, guys. Happy Wednesday? Yes. Wednesday. I get confused. It’s funny really because it’s live. I should know what day of the week it is.
Tonight I want to talk about resilience because guess what, people, shit happens. It does. Bad stuff happens. Resilience is all about bad stuff happening and you being able to get back up and back at them again, without it taking too much of a toll on you. Being one of those people that negative stuff, bad stuff happens to you and you bounce back, but each time it happens it’s like someone’s taking out one of those bits of a Jenga block, and as each bit of the Jenga block gets pulled out eventually you’re just going to go … Actually, you don’t even elegantly topple like that. You kind of go … We don’t want that. I certainly do not want that for anybody that watches these lives, anybody that’s a client, anybody that’s a family or friend. Actually, I don’t want it for anybody because falling apart is, it’s not good. There are so many great things in the world to help you not fall apart that we can make that not happen. Got it?
I read this great quote. I’m not very good at remembering quotes so I need to read it. When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience. Now that’s Jayda DeWalt. Oh my God, I’m so going to have assed that up.
Why did that quote resonate with me? It resonated with me because things are always going to go wrong. In life, things are always, always going to go wrong. If you are one of those people that thinks everything can just be sunflowers and daisies for the rest of your life and you never have any bad or sad experiences, I’m really sorry, but that’s not reality. You’ve taken some pill to put you on another dimension because it’s not how the world works.
Why do we want the world to work where there’s negative? Why is that okay? It’s okay to have negative in the world because if we don’t have negative in the world, we don’t get to enjoy and see and experience the magic that is the good stuff. It’s like, if there is no black, you don’t understand what white is. If there is no sadness, you don’t know what happy is. If there is no anger, you don’t know joy. It’s part of the human experience, is having all of that, and not just for Geminis. We want life to involve all of that. The trick is when the bad stuff happens, how do you get back up without, as I said, pulling out that Jenga block of your life and making you feel crap. Okay?
I’m going to give you ten tips, count them, five, ten tips on how to bounce back and become more resilient.
Number one, look for the lesson. You might think, here she goes. But seriously, there’s lessons in … I’m not going to say everything. Okay? I am not. But there are lessons in just about everything. Look for it, find it. What can you learn from it? What have you experienced? What could someone else learn from it? What could the world learn from it? There’s always something, nearly always, I did it, nearly always something that can be seen in the situation. Okay?
Number two, get to know yourself better. Now, we think we know as us, but, you know what, we actually don’t know ourselves that well. Unless you do a lot of self work. That’s about knowing what your positive and negative triggers are, what your strengths are, what your weaknesses, what your successes have been, what your perceived failures have been. The more you know about all of that stuff, the better handle you’re going to have on what it is that helps you bounce back from things and what it is that when something goes wrong will send you into the tub of ice cream and a [inaudible 00:04:13]. Okay? Get to know yourself better.
Number three, have a friend or a therapist or a coach, mentor, someone that you can talk to about what’s going on. This one is important. When bad stuff is happening, having verbal diarrhea and telling everybody about it does not fix the situation. It’s not going to make you feel a lot better. Sometimes it just makes people around you think you’re a whingy, whiny mope. It’s important when you do need, and we all need to get stuff out … We all need to get stuff off our chest. Hi, funny me saying that. We all need to get stuff off our chest, but you don’t need to tell everybody everything really. Okay?
Number four, take action to problem solve the situation. Okay? Now, this is not in everything that you need to bounce back and be resilient from. You may not be able to take action, but if there is an option for you to take a positive action on what’s happened, go for it. If not, take some positive action in your life because that will help you feel better about the bad shit that’s just happened. Okay? Get that? If you can take it about the situation, take it about that, if you can’t, take something anyway. Okay?
Maintain a positive outlook, says the woman that just told you bad stuff happens. But you know what I mean. You can maintain a positive outlook without thinking you’re sunshine and lollipops. You can. I have a totally positive outlook on life. I believe good things happen to great people. I believe anything is possible. I believe we’re all limitless. That’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about. But your bad stuff happens. Okay? Do you get it? It’s not contradictory. It’s just they go together.
Look after your physical wellbeing. Now, I heard this great acronym, MEDS. We could go DEMS. MEDS kind of sounds better. It’s meditation, exercise, your diet, and sleep. In a nutshell, look after yourself. We all got that.
Number seven, know what helps you unwind from stuff. Hopefully it’s something like a walk or TV, journaling, a jigsaw puzzle. I used to do jigsaw puzzles, coloring in, reading, a bath, something that’s going to make you go, “Ah, I feel better.” That stuff is good. Know what helps you with that kind of thing. Preferably not a bottle of wine, because that just makes you feel worse afterwards. That can be on the fun radar, but not on the helps you unwind radar.
Number eight, acceptance. Goes back to the very beginning chit chat saying bad stuff is going to happen. When something happens, it’s happened, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You have to accept it. It’s like when you’re younger and you go out with friends and you may or may not have had one to many Maduri breezes … Maduri? Whatever they’re called. Bacardi breezes. Then you wake up and you think, “Uh oh, what did I do? Who did I snog?” All that kind of stuff. You have to accept it. You can’t take it back. It happened. I’m not going to be so far and cruel as to say build a bridge and get over it, but you need to accept what has happened and go back to can you change some … Not can you change, can you take some positive action about it? Can you problem solve it? Can you talk about it? What if any of those other steps, but accept it. That’s a big one.
Number nine, stop overthinking. Ah! There are those things in your head that go … That’s part of it. It’s part of acceptance. It’s part of all of it. Those little voices, the chatter, the “oh, if I’d done this differently, oh, if they’d said that, then that wouldn’t have happened, oh, but …” All of it. Stop overthinking. You also can’t overthink future fixing the situation. You know what I mean? When I’m talking about thinking positively about it and trying to make some problem solving and trying to take some action towards it, if you overthink that you’ll actually get stuck in inaction and not take any steps. Overthinking is a really big one. Shut down that, quiet down those voices. If that’s all that stuff is going on, go back to that MEDS step, meditation, exercise, diet, go to sleep. Everything feels better when you have a nap. I swear.
Number ten, I say it all the time. What is that thing I write every single morning? Five things. Gratitude. Because when you can see the good stuff in life, even the simple stuff, the little pretty picture on your coffee in the morning, when you can see all the good stuff that’s going on, the bad stuff that’s happened does not appear as bad. I promise you. It really doesn’t. Practice that gratitude every single day. I wonder if I could get a G in with MEDS. GMEDS. DREGS? DREAMS? DREAMS? DREAMS. That’d be good. DREAMS. Practice gratitude because so, so helps.
There are my top tips for being a little bit more resilient and doing that boo, boo, boo, boo, that bouncing back from the bad stuff that happens in your life.
Nice to talk to you again tonight. You know where you can find me, on all the socials, that’s [inaudible 00:10:09]. Share these videos. If any of these videos have resonated with you, I would really love and appreciate you going and hitting that share button and going, “Hey, guys, watch this. This chick is cool or she’s wearing a nice frock or something.” I would really, really appreciate that. If you want to do my seven day confidence challenge, don’t forget it’s there. You can head on over to [inaudible 00:10:31].com and there’s links and stuff there. You can find it. Again, share it. It’s fun. Promise. Pinky promise. Night night.