Should have drunk water before I started. So tonight I’m going to talk about patience and I’m going to admit something. Patience is not my strongest suit. So we’ve all heard the saying, patience is a virtue. And yeah … Anyway, I try, I do really try. And today, my patience was tested in a multitude of ways. Traffic and customer service stuff in shops and running … Just, you name it, I was getting a slap in the face today to go, “Samantha, you know that thing you want to work on? You know how you said you want to be more patient? You want to get better at that? We’re just throwing this at you so you can try. Go on, let’s see what happens.” Yeah, I failed a bit.
So I got a bit cranky at a lady in Kmart. Now, I was justified in my crankiness because she was doing the wrong thing. So yeah, I was justified, but I still should have been more patient. And I only wasn’t patient because I had so much going on. So I let all the stuff that was going on drive me to be in this alpha kind of high achieving, got to get … kind of way. And this weekend, for example, my weekend is scheduled to like 10-minute intervals; there’s so much on. And that’s not an excuse for not being patient. I could still have practiced patience.
So I sat with it a bit today because I got so grumpy at one point with it. And yeah, I did, like I said, told this lady off in Kmart. I’m so embarrassed now. Oh my God, that’s so embarrassing. Anyway. But the customer service person thought I was justified, so, you know. But afterwards, I sat in my car and I was crying. I was like, “Oh, Samantha. That’s just … you’re too smart for that. You’ve got too big a heart. You’ve got too … No. No, you don’t get grumpy with people in shops two weeks before Christmas. It’s not cool.”
So I asked myself a few questions and looked at why I was being impatient. And as I had said before, like I really am working on my patience. There’s a lot of things that make me impatient. I’m getting better at the traffic thing because after all I live in Sydney. Really dumb arse things I have issues with, but anyway, whole other story. So I wanted tonight to go, “Well, okay, what do I need to do? Like in the situation today, what could I done? Well, what could I have done? What should I do to be more patient and be more present and not get narky in Kmart and then burst into tears because you’re running late to something.” Yeah, that was me today. Yep. Two weeks out from Christmas and I’ve got the “Don’t take me to a shop” thing.
Okay. So things we can do to help us become more patient. We can actually make ourselves wait more often. So I’ve talked about it before, instant gratification versus delayed gratification. If you get better at that, it actually helps make you a more patient person. So for all those times I’ve wanted to bite a fingernail or do something really quickly, I just need to take a chill pill. Chill pill, that’s when I get my Kiwi accent on. And go, “You know what? It’s actually okay to wait. It’s okay to wait.” And yes, I’ve written a list of all these because you know me, I forget. And then I get impatient with myself because I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say, and we don’t want that.
Another one is that old chestnut … I could have just taken five seconds today to do a little bit of a … and not go … to this lady. You know? It would’ve moved on, I then wouldn’t have felt bad about myself. All I had to do was breathe. All I had to do was breathe. Another thing we can do … Yeah, I know I’ve said it a gazillion times about a million things is practice gratitude. Yes, I could have been like, “Oh, well, you know …” Actually, no I can’t. On this one, I can’t. What am I grateful for standing in a queue for? Well, I’m grateful that I get the opportunity to do the things I was doing that got me into the queue, that kind of thing. But I wasn’t grateful about the situation. Yeah. Sorry about that. Is it bad of me? Am I a bad person? Oh, okay. No, I’m not.
Another thing you need to do is change your attitude. So yes, I was in a hurry, but I was grumpy because I was in a hurry because I’d set myself unreal expectations of what I was going to be able to achieve today. Had I changed my attitude and gone, “You know what, it is what it is. I’m actually not going to be able to get all that done, so just get over it, Sam,” I probably wouldn’t have been so impatient. If I’d changed my mind in that situation and gone, “Well, you’re not going to be able to do it, so get over it.”
Another thing you can do is look at … Bit of a mind trick, but look at what the worst or best outcome for this particular situation could be. A better outcome for me would have just been acting with grace and letting the scene unfold in front of me and then going on about my day. But because I was reactive because of my impatience, I don’t feel bad for hours afterwards. Like that was just dumb. She’s probably got no idea. Well, no she wouldn’t. She probably got over it five seconds later. Me, on the other hand, I’m hanging onto the baggage because I’m the one that got grumpy arsed and I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. So in that kind of situation, being more mindful about what’s important to me. It’s important to me to be a good person. It’s important to me to be compassionate. It’s important to me to be empathetic. It’s important to me to be community-minded. And in that moment today, none of that happened, out the window, grumpy arse Sam, impatient Sam was shown in; she was ruling the roost. Don’t like it.
Another thing is looking at the things in your life that cause you to get impatient. So I would say my two biggest ones are running late. So it’s a time thing. Honestly, the time thing’s probably one of the only things that I ever get truly anxious about, to the like heart palpitating, heart racing, sweaty, crying, “I’m going to be late, I’m going to be late. I’m going to be late.” It can be really debilitating. I hate it. And the other one is stupidity. But in particular, and I’m … Oh God, this might make me sound like a bitch and I don’t mean it to, but I’m going to just come out with it. But you know when you’re in a grocery shop and the person behind the counter doesn’t know the difference between the zucchini and the cucumber? I get really impatient with stuff like that. I know, I’m sorry. But I do.
Yeah. They’re my two big ones. And I’m not talking … There are things people don’t know. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s the dumb arse ones that get me. And time. They’re my two big ones. So what I should do is being aware of those things being an issue, especially the time one, is I should make sure if I think it’s going to take me half an hour to get somewhere, I give myself 45 minutes. Because if I do that, then I’m not going to be getting impatient and grumpy and full of anxiety because I’m running late, I should have just left 15 minutes earlier and that probably would have helped the situation.
Another way you can help yourself stopping get so impatient about things is getting better at embracing impatient things, so things that make you uncomfortable. I’m going to try this because I’d had a bit of a read about it. I’m going to try actually deliberately being late to a couple of things and see if the world falls apart. And maybe that might help me stop being so anxious and impatient about time and those kinds of things. So I’m going to give that a whirl, I’m going to give that one a whirl.
So they’re just a few tips because I just … Especially this time of year, we’re all running around like blue-arsed flies and we’ve all got lots on and we were trying to achieve so much, especially before we break up for holidays, et cetera. And patience wears thin, like when you’re in long checkout queues or ridiculous traffic or waiting for someone to pour you a Champagne … Shouldn’t get impatient with that … isn’t that funny, but we should. Patience gets tested, it really does. So breathe, gratitude, look for the worst-case scenario, make yourself wait a little bit more, make yourself a bit uncomfortable, and get better at practicing those situations where you do need to be more patient.
They’re the tips. Have a fantastic Saturday night and I will see you tomorrow.