[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 23 Transcript: Empath Exhaustion

by | Aug 26, 2019 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Got to sneeze. Oh. Oh, that’s not a great start to a live, is it? What a weird title, empath exhaustion. So what do I want to say about that? I’m exhausted. I’m an empath and I hold space for a lot of people… Not a lot of people, but people a lot.

So, I have the space I hold for my clients, which I’m pretty good at having a wall where I don’t let that seep into my everyday life. And then I hold space for friends, family, colleagues, et cetera, when they’re going through shit. And it’s just something I’ve always done. It comes very naturally to me and I just do it.

Where I’m trying to get better at is protecting the space that I hold for myself. So, when you constantly have people, not… When you have frequently have people telling you all the stuff that’s going on in their life in a negative way, you have to be really good at putting up a shield in order for you not to feel that negativity and to stop that seeping into your life because that’s, no one benefits out of that.

Empath ExhaustionOther people wearing a badge of negativity becoming part of your shield is not a good thing for anybody. So, I like to listen to people, and I like to help and offer advice and where it can help them in any way, shape or form, it’s comes naturally to me and I love to do it, as I’m sure many of you do.

If you’ve probably resonated with any of my videos, you probably resonate with me because of that or you might be a little bit like that yourself. What I just want to caution you on is sometimes what we then do when we are one of those people is we don’t tend to actually share a lot of the stuff going on in our lives because we know what that energy feels like and how much that takes up in the world.

So, I tend to only have a couple of people that I share stuff with or my coaches and my mentors that I pay for. I will share a lot more with them because they’re holding space in a more secure way where it’s not, I know it’s not going to affect them because I don’t want to affect people with my energy.

So, it’s Monday and I’ve coming off the back of quite a big few weeks and I’m shattered. I’m exhausted. There are a lot of people I genuinely care and love who are going through a lot of stuff at the moment and I haven’t kept my guard up enough. And I’m really tired and not just need to get eight hours sleep kind of tired, like tired, tired. Like need to rest and pull myself out from a few days from being in part of that kind of stuff.

Is it a depressing kind of thing? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not depressed in any way, shape or form, but I’m genuinely just like, “Oh I need to just switch off, take a chill pill, read a really trashy book instead of one of my not so trashy books.” I wonder if I’ve got anything trashy on my bookshelves. I should have a look and see if I can find something trashy.
Oh, I could read about Marlene Dietrich. I could do that. Actually, that’s always a good read. I could read a book to bed to everybody, that’s so good, right? God, they’re all so many bloody good reads. So, why I bring it up is I just want you to be aware when you are a listener and a carer that you really need to protect in here and in here.

I’m learning, I’m so learning this and I’m doing a lot of research at the moment on boundaries. I’ve got a book, I haven’t started reading yet. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Boundaries, here you go. This is my next read. Say No Without guilt, have better relationships, boost your self-esteem, stop people-pleasing, boundaries. I think that’s going to be a powerful one for me.

So, I encourage you all to do that. And if, like me you’re having a day where you’re just like, “Enough, I can’t actually listen anymore.” Switch off. Like right now I’ve done this live. I’ve got a few things that I need to get done before I go to bed. Elidy has gone for a sleep over. She ditched me on her first night back. That sounded so dramatic. It was like my mother. I don’t mean that at all. She’s off having fun and that’s what school holidays is all about as far as I’m concerned.

So, I just want you to protect this space because it’s the only one that you’ve got. So boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, and sometimes hold space for yourself. That journaling work, talk to yourself. When you talk back, hmm a little bit iffy, but you know what I mean. And look after yourself.

So, Monday night for me tonight now is going to be all about looking after myself. And I encourage you to do the same. And I will sign off with my typical night-night because that’s just so daggy and so me. And the finish button won’t work.

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