[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 250 Transcript: What Charisma Is Not

Samantha Leith What Charisma Is Not

Hi guys. Everybody. Hi, everybody. We’re trying to get the right … what is that line? It’s weird, isn’t it? Hmm, what have I done? Have I got a filter on? Oh, sorry if I do. I don’t know what button I pushed.

I want to talk about what charisma is not. This came up because of a conversation I had with a couple of people this week about who they thought were charismatic people and what they thought were skills of charismatic people, et cetera, and I had to kind of pull them up on a couple of things. Charisma is not about being able to convince somebody to do something. Okay? It’s not. That’s unethical, for starters. Okay? In the way they were meaning it, like a really charismatic person could convince you to join a cult. That’s actually not about charisma. That’s about using manipulation and possibly any of your charismatic [inaudible 00:00:59] abilities for evil. We don’t want to talk about that. We don’t want to do that. That’s bad stuff. Let’s not do that again. Let’s not do that.

Charisma is not about walking into a room and all eyes, all attention, everything is on you and everything else, everybody else can just disappear into the ether. That’s not what charisma is about either. There’s a balance to charisma. When you let your charisma shine, it’s also about bringing up other people and bringing out things in them. It’s not about you just being the center of attention because that’s just ego driven, and charisma is not actually all about your ego. It’s not. It’s funny people think, charismatic people, it’s all about them.

Pinterest - Charisma without character is postponed calamity - Samantha LeithNow, don’t get me wrong. There are some very charismatic people where it is actually all about them. There are some traits within charisma that are ego-based because there are traits in everything in life. In every skill you develop, there is probably some ego-based thing in some of it. But again, it’s about using it for good or evil. Okay? That’s weird, so weird … I get distracted. I’m getting distracted by what I prompt on to my phone. That’s hilarious.

Okay, so we know that there’re pretty much four different types of charisma. I’m not going to go into those in detail today because I’ve done lives on them before, but they’re focused, visionary … people, like I did this week where they’re like, “Oh, you’ve got to have charisma to get to a million dollars in sales in five minutes because you can just get on the front and bam, bam, bam, bam, convince people what they’re going to do.” That is not about charisma, people. It’s really not.

Charisma is whilst it’s a skill you can learn, it’s a lot more natural. It’s not about forcing, it’s not about coercing, it’s not about demanding attention. It’s not about crazy over the top antics. Okay? So we need to remove that. Because I talk about charisma a lot and I don’t want people to think it’s a bad thing because it’s really not. It’s really not. Charisma can be a beautiful, beautiful tool. Some of the most charismatic people on the world are the most kindest and gentlest. Okay? That might do your head in a little bit, but Mother Theresa, oh my God. Charisma coming out of every single pore, but not in a, “I’m going to convince you to do bad shit” kind of way. So please, please, please, think about charisma in a nicer way. Okay?

Charisma is about your confidence, about rapport. There’s so many components that go into it. Influence is one of them, absolutely. But influence from a good place and it’s about influencing people in something that’s for their best interest … not about influencing people for something, that’s in your best interest.

Again, if we’re using our charismatic skills to influence people in our interest, that’s just ego-based and evil. Don’t do that stuff. No, no, no stop, stop, stop. We want to influence people for their own good, for their own benefit. To see something good in themselves, to take an opportunity that’s good for them, not us. Oh, I’m so want to get on my soap box about this one, okay? Because we see the people that have been part of Ponzi schemes or bad investment stuff or murderers that have gone on and they’ve been, they go, “Oh my God, the charisma of Jeffrey Dahmer.” Well, that wasn’t charisma, that was freaky evil crap! Calm down, Samantha. Calm down. Yes, they may have had charismatic skills, but that’s not what charisma is about. We want to use it for good.

So just remember these four things about charisma to try and flip the bad from the good, okay? It’s about confidence, rapport, presence as a really big one, and influence. There’s so many more to them, but they’re the four I wanted to touch on today. And just to remind you that charisma is not a convincing tool. It’s not, okay? Charisma is a skill we learn for good and we use one of the … you can use one of the different types of charisma because some people are all types and they use the different side of their charisma for different circumstances. That’s when you’re using it as like, the most amazing effective tool ever.

I’m really talking a lot more about charisma because they’re talking a lot about confidence and it’s another one of my Cs, so I want to get you on board. I might be … might, may, you never know … be launching like I did the Seven-day Confidence Challenge. There might be a charisma challenge or something coming up in the future, so keep your eyes out.

The only way you’re going to know about that is if you head over to samanthaleith.com and join. Sign up for the newsletter and get the Sparkle newsletter every week in your inbox and find out what I’m up to. I’d love to hear what your take on charisma is. If this has changed and you’re thinking, you’re like, “Oh, okay. It’s not about that sleazy salesman. That’s not charisma, that’s just sleazy salesman.” Don’t start emailing me about salespeople not being sleazy because I know they’re not, okay? I know not all salespeople are sleazy, but you know what I’m trying to say. Have a great Saturday and I will see you all tomorrow. Bye.