Hey, happy Sunday. Question this week I had a conversation. It wasn’t with a client, it was actually with a friend. And I have a lot of friends that well, I kind of secretly think I’m probably their coach a lot of the time anyway.
And so we have these conversations and I try to listen and give advice if necessary or if requested. Or I ask permission to give advice. Otherwise, I just listen and help them figure it out themselves. And I got asked this question this week because a friend of mine was actually pretty upset. She was like, “It’s nearly the end of February and I’ve completely ballsed up my New Year’s resolutions. Donesky. Eight weeks in and already so off the track. What do I do? Do I restart them? Do I cancel them? Do I just wait till next year and start again? What do I do?”
And this is the challenge for the majority of the planet. The statistics on how many people actually make it past the middle of January with New Year’s resolutions are just horrifying. Absolutely horrifying. Because we set these New Year’s resolutions that aren’t in alignment with what we’re doing. They might not be part of the right path to actually get us to where we want to go. We might’ve just set these New Year’s resolutions because we got really, really smashed over Christmas and thought, “Oh, I better give up drinking then.” We might’ve tried to put on a swimsuit and gone, “Oh God, that’s a bit squishy. Best I go on a diet or go to the gym 10 times a week.” And we haven’t actually sat down and thought of the whole process of what we want to do within that goal or that resolution for that year.
Therefore we get two weeks in, we hit a road bump and gone. And then it’s human nature, unfortunately, to go, “Oh God, I had that cigarette. So I’ve stuffed up. Oh, I’ll just have the whole packet.” Why I used a cigarette then, is beyond me. I’ve never been a smoker. But I do know people that struggle with that all the time. So kind of hit me.
Now if you’re getting to this point of the year and going, “Stuffed up, so let’s not bother.” Don’t do that, stop. It’s never too late to start a New Year’s resolution. Technically it’s not a new year, but it’s never too late. Okay. So bear with me. So if you’ve fallen off the wagon, for whatever the goal might’ve been or the resolution might’ve been, I could just say start again. I’m going to end the conversation now. Just start again. Don’t need to go into any more details. Live over.
But it can actually be a little more to it. You can just hit the reset button, but chances are, if you just hit the reset button. You’re not going to identify why you fell off it to start with. And if it’s what you should be doing, or what you want to, or need to be doing at that moment, whether it’s totally in alignment for you at this point in your life.
So what I challenge you to do is, I know I’m going to say it. You ready get out of jail. Or do it on a Word document or a PowerPoint presentation. Do a mind map. It doesn’t matter the tool with which you do it, but write down what that resolution or goal was that you wanted to achieve. Okay. Step number one, write it down.
Step number two is write down why you think you fell off it. Why you think you fell off that horse and didn’t get back on, on the 10th of January, or the 20th of February, whatever day it may have been. Okay. Step three, write down why you want that goal or resolution. Now, why I don’t make that right at the top is because if you work out then that, well, you actually don’t really want it. You haven’t looked at the deeper question of why you fell off it. Okay.
Because yes, you may not absolutely be in complete alignment with giving up smoking for example. But you kind of do for health reasons, a couple of bits, but it’s not truly kind of cemented for you yet. And if you haven’t written down the point where you started again, because something happened at work that you couldn’t deal with it, so that triggered the habit, then you haven’t learned anything. So that’s why it’s really important to do that step two of working out why you think you fell off the wagon.
And then step four, if you’ve gotten to the point and go, okay, guess I do really want this goal. This is why I fell off it. I do want to set this resolution again and reset and start again. So then the step four is brainstorm a couple of ideas of things you need to do, or you can do right now to put you back into a place of doing it. So it might be, if it’s exercise for example. Yes, hello, Jelly. It might be about laying out your gym gear. So when you get up in the morning, you can go.
If it’s about not drinking, it might be about emptying out those couple of half bottles of wine out the fridge. If it’s about not smoking, it might be throwing out the ashtrays, throwing out the cigarettes. If it’s about that resolution that you had to contact five people every single day to try and get your dream job. It might be about doing your resume first thing in the morning, first step in updating your LinkedIn profile.
So there’s always, in your brain you know it, you’ve all got the answers in there all the time. And it’s about being able to extract all of that. Okay. So step one, write it down. Step two, why you fell off. Step three, do you still want it? Step four, if you do still want it, what action can you take right now towards that? And then, step five, just do it.
There’s more in there. You got to forgive yourself for falling off the wagon in the first place. You can go back to my life about self forgiveness on that one. But it’s just really important to know and it’s also important rather, sorry, to set yourself up with the good habits, to keep yourself on this journey that you want to go on. That’s all the habits, habits, habits, habits, habits. One of the most powerful things in our lives.
But what the most important thing at this point for you to know is New Year’s Day is just a day. Like the first of the month is just a day. By the way, a pinch and a punch for the first of the month. Happy March. Happy first day of autumn everybody. Monday is just a day. So, whatever you’re going for, whatever the goal, whatever the resolution, whatever you’re promising yourself to do, you do not need a special day to hit the reset button and start again. You really don’t.
I used to always think I did. It had to be a special, magical fairy day in order for me to achieve what I wanted to achieve. No, just bloody do it people. Grumpy face. No, I don’t get grumpy that often. You want to challenge me on that one?
Just do it. Wake up tomorrow and just start again with whatever you’ve fallen off the wagon with, if that’s what you want to do. Okay. Whether it’s food, exercise, work, health, family, relationships, your love life. If you’ve had a resolution to actually get a partner this year and you haven’t even opened your Tinder app. Well, get back in it lady or gentlemen. Mwa. Happy Sunday and I will see you all tomorrow.