Hello guys. Tonight’s live is brought to you by the zombie apocalypse. Yes, that’s right, because that’s clearly what’s happening in Australia. If you’ve been on social media or any of the news sites, probably even on the news TV that I don’t watch, you would see that Australians are literally going bonkers stocking up their houses with stuff as if we are all going to get sick tomorrow and die.

Can I just say, I went to three grocery shop stops today to buy toilet paper, not to stockpile it because I’m not a greedy son of a you know what, daughter of a you know what that some people are, because we have two rolls left. Two rolls left in a house of two people. So I actually wanted to buy it because I need to buy it and I can’t because all these people are just being hysterical, like hysterical. There are so few cases of COVID nine or coronavirus, whatever you want to call it, in Australia that we really don’t need to panic.

Pinterest -- A mind is a terrible thing to waste - Samantha Leith2If you are sensible and don’t snog someone that’s got the flu, you’re probably going to be okay. Yes, take your precautions like not getting on a plane to places where there are lots of cases happening. Yeah, that’s a good idea, but you don’t need to clean out the supermarkets of everything. Oh my gosh. When you look at the numbers, I don’t know what it is. In Australia, we’ve had like six months of a lot of catastrophes, a lot of bad stuff’s happened. Environmentally, politically, domestic violence, murders, mayhem, suicides. You know how many people have died of suicide in the same time this coronavirus has been identified? Thousands. Yet are we rushing like mobs to go help on mental health lines? No, we’re rushing to the supermarket to buy bloody toilet paper and rice and pasta and all these things.

The majority of humans will survive. This is not like the Spanish flu. This is not like Ebola in some African countries. This is not like HIV when it hit. I’m stunned. I’m so stunned by all this panic. Literally when we lost power last year for six days because of the storm, and we lost power again this year for three days or four days I can’t remember, and I had to throw out stuff in my fridge and freezer, there was still enough food in our pantry to last for weeks. You’re not going to die of starvation people. Some of us have got a little more padding and we might be a little bit better off, but I’m not going to be better off if I can’t get toilet paper.

Sorry. I had this really sensible teachy live that I wanted to do tonight and I have just been honestly gobsmacked by people walking out of Costco. I didn’t get to Costco, but people walking out of Costco with trolleys full of toilet paper. What else are they doing? Do they all have side hustles selling toilet paper online? Because if they do, could you send me the link? Rant over. Samantha, rant over. Rant over.

What we need to do is actually be sensible about this. Make changes where we can to protect our health. But that’s like you protect your health every year when the flu season comes along. Don’t do dumb shit that’s going to get you sick and around people that are already sick. That’s pretty much it. We don’t need to stop going to Chinese restaurants. Do you know how many Chinese restaurants have gone under in the last few weeks? The number of restaurants you go past and there’s nobody in them because people think, “Oh my God, Chinese food, I might get sick.” It is racist. It’s just awful in every single level and some of these memes that are coming up, they’re just mean. They’re not memes, they’re means. We don’t need to not talk to anybody that’s, at the moment, Italian or Chinese. Oh my God, are we all going to stop eating carbonara?

I’m ranting. I know I’m ranting. Unless there’s something out there that I don’t know and I’m not getting, it’s just this panic. It’s a hysteria of something that’s, at this point in time, it’s not affecting us. When I was in New Zealand last week for the funeral, at the airport all these people, they clearly just work in the shop at the airport, but they’ve all got masks on and there’s rules of people coming in and out of countries if they’ve been to any areas where the rates are higher. So it’s all this overdramatic precautions. Now don’t get me wrong, my name is Samantha Leith and I can be overdramatic. I’m happily to admit that, but this is just getting bonkers.

So I ask you to all take a chill pill, calm down, be sensible. And if anybody has a spare six pack of Kleenex Cottonelle that they want to send my way. Actually, I did place an order online but then I got this notification from Woolies saying, “Your order price may vary because we may not be able to deliver everything you’ve ordered.” I was like, “I bet you that’s the toilet paper.” Honestly comment guys if you are as frustrated and think this is as mad as I do. Let me know. It’s just cuckoo la la. Anyway, we will be back to normal programming tomorrow, until then stay well and for God’s sake go and eat Chinese, which we are doing tonight.