Okay. I’m in the kitchen, you know what that means?

I saw this picture today and I was like, “Ah, finally a meme I really like.” So, hang on, we’re going to give it a go. I kept my promise, now keep your distance. See, why is that so hard for so many people? Anyway that’s got nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about tonight. But I just liked the whole premise of standing there going, “Don’t cry for me, Margarina. The truth is I liked Barbara Streisand.” I get just so distracted so easily.

What did I want to talk about tonight? I wanted to talk about taking a chance on you and that is a great lead into an ABBA song but I’m not going to do that because I’ve already done one song this evening. So, what I wanted to talk about was why? Why don’t we take chances on ourselves? Why don’t we? If you take a chance on yourself it’s not like you’re going to actually … sometimes you might break your leg depending on the chance. But we get really fearful of taking chances on so many things in life. And the reality is the things that we often want to take a chance on aren’t that hard. The things that we want to take a chance on aren’t that confronting. The things that we want to take a chance on aren’t that big a deal that they should stop us.

So, the things we stop ourselves taking a chance on these days are, I’ll go back to the basics. Asking someone on a date. Asking someone for a sale. Trying something new for the first time. Confronting someone over a situation that may be a little bit … we not quite sure of. Changing jobs. We’ll just go with those five for this evening.

Pinterest -- Take a chance. All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare - Samantha LeithSo, why don’t we take chances? Because we’re scared. We are scared. We’re scared that we’re going to ask someone on that date and they’re going to go, “Ooh, no thank you.” Or we’re going to apply for that job and we’re going to get a, “Yeah. No. Thanks but no thanks.” Or worse still, we don’t get a response. Or we’re going to have a confronting conversation with someone hoping that we get what we want out of the conversation, and we don’t.

Now, those three examples I’ve given you, did the world collapse? No. We think things are so much more dramatic than they actually are. We think that when we say to someone, “Hi, my name’s Sam. I think you’re really cute. Do you want to go out on a date?” And they say “No.” That we’re then going to shrivel up and die. And we’re never going to be able to do anything again in our lives because nobody loves us. And it’s just not true.

When we apply for a job and we get that terrible no response thing that happens these days because 500 people on an automated response thing have applied for the same job don’t get a response either, we think, “Oh, I’m not good enough. I can never apply for anything ever again. I’m hopeless.” So, we don’t apply for another job.

Did anything bad actually happen? No. All of these fears, all of these moments that stop us taking a chance on ourselves, actually stop us from moving that next step forward into anything. It truly does. The worst thing that can happen when you take a chance on yourself is in any of those situations is a no. That’s it? No, you didn’t get the job. No, you didn’t get the sale. No, I don’t agree with you. No, I don’t want to have sex with you. No, you didn’t get the gig.

They’re not changing our lives. Those noes are not going to ruin us. And I know, being ironic I just said no, being prepared for those noes is all about confidence. So, the more we build our confidence muscle, the easier it is for us to put ourselves in the situations where we can get those noes.

But the more you actually take those chances and get those noes, the easier those noes are. It’s like, you know when you wear a really uncomfortable pair of shoes, bear with me here, and you get that blister or you get that little callus happening and it happens time and a time and time again. And by the time you’ve worn those shoes for the fifth time, they don’t hurt because you built up that buffer or stop it from actually hurting.

Taking a chance on what you want is exactly the same. The more times you take that chance, the more times you asked for the yes, the more times you put yourself out there and get that no, the more you’re building up that ability to go, “Yeah, it’s a no. It’s okay. I didn’t want it either.” Not sure about the accent. But it’s not that drastic. Truly, it’s not. We build it up. We amplify these lows in our minds to be a life or death situation. And honestly, not getting that job may be the best thing that ever happened to you. Not going home with that woman might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Not getting that sale, they could have been the biggest pain in the ass customer ever.

So, don’t be scared of the no. Don’t be scared of taking the chance on you. In these times, more than anything, we could be hunkering down and sheltering and saying, “I’m not putting myself out there because it’s all too scary.” Now is not the time to do that. Now is actually the time to get out there more, put yourself out there, build that resilience, build that confidence. And in doing that, you will actually find that sweet spot where the yeses will come to you in whatever area you’re looking for a yes in. Okay?

So, that’s my words to you tonight. Happy Friday night, stay safe, stay well. You’ll look after your friends and family. Remember social distancing, we’re all miles away from each other. And social distancing is not the right word, as I’ve heard some people say today. It’s physical distancing. We don’t want to be socially distancing. We want to actually socially interact with people. So, pick up the phone … I did that this afternoon. I rang quite a few people just because I haven’t spoken to them for ages. So, make sure you do that. Keep in touch. Help where you can in your neighborhood. And don’t be afraid of a no. Take a chance on you.

Goodnight and I will see you tomorrow.