[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 307 Transcript: Q & A Are You Happy Or Comfortable?

by | Nov 3, 2020 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Okay, I can’t resist. If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re … okay, I’ll stop. It’s Q&A Sunday and I got asked a question this week that made me do some serious thinking. So the question was, am I happy or am I comfortable? And let’s think of that one. And I don’t know. My people said, you seem happy, and yeah I’m happy. And like, oh, am I actually happy? Or am I just okay with what I’m doing? And I’ve just remembered, I’ve left my notes sitting on my desk. So hang on a second, I’ll be right back.

You know what I say about having your notes handy, so we’ll just stick them up there. Shall we? So I can make sure I’m doing exactly what I’m meant to be doing in this life. That was embarrassing. I then came up with an exercise with the person that had asked me this question about how to work out whether you are actually happy or you’re just in comfy land. And I think it’s something so many of us are actually asking at the moment. It’s a daily occurrence seeing on someone’s Instagram feed or Facebook feed or in a group or an email saying, are you happy at the moment? What would you change? How are you coping? Those kinds of things. And it’s a time when a lot of us are being really, really reflective. So I thought I’d share with you how I developed a little method for myself to come up with as to, am I happy or am I comfortable?

What’s your first reaction when I ask you that question, “Are you happy or are you comfortable?” Interesting to know. So the first thing you got to do … and again, I want you to probably grab a piece of paper to do this, or have some thinking time, is, think about what would happen if everything was taken away from you like that. Now, I’m not talking about taken away in a chaotic, dramatic, your house burnt down or you got divorced and moved countries. I’m not talking about the drama kind of taken away, I’m talking about just if the world as you know it right now with what you do for work, with who you are in love with, with where you live. If all of that just stopped for a second, it was gone, gone. The status quo was gone and you had a clean slate.

Pinterest -- Success isn't supposed to feel comfortable - Samantha LeithSo no drama, clean slate, you had enough money to do what you wanted to do. Not like you won a million dollars, but you’ve got enough to do what you need to do. What would you do? Huh? What would you do? So first you got to look at your values, and you can go onto samanthaleith.com and search values. I’ve done a couple of lives there about values and there’s other information. But really it’s those … your values are those core things that are really, really important to you. And your values can range from things like money to sex to work to fame to generosity, philanthropy, there is no right or wrong with values. They are your values. So I want you to look at what those five to 10 top values are when you do do this exercise, because you might find that you’ve slipped into this, life is okay mood. And your values might be little bit out of align with how you really feel and what’s actually going on in your life.

So that’s point one, is actually to look at your values. The second thing I want you to do is write down … think about and write down the very first thing you would do if you had that clean slate, the very first thing. And we all know we’re going to have lots of things that go, thanks Kelly. In a purple mood today, even with the earrings. Lots of things go on about what we should do and all the five steps to happiness and the 10 first steps to getting a new job, all that kind of stuff. Drop all of that. I want you to ask your intuition, your gut, your mojo, do a kegel, whatever it takes to know what that very first thing you would do if you could start everything all over again. Clean slate, what would it be? You know what it is. I promise you, you know what it is.

Then the second thing I want you to look at … third thing. What’s the third thing, I mean. The third thing is to think about, what in your existing life, in terms of work, where you live, sex life, money, friends, everything that you do … Thank you, Victoria. You’re beautiful too. We’re all beautiful today. Everybody’s beautiful. What would you re-established? What from this life would you take into the new life? That clean slate, that new life? What would you take? Now, once you’ve done those exercises, you can then look at where your life actually is and look at the things that, oh my gosh, so I’ve a list of 10 things I’d want to take into my new life, they’re probably the 10 biggest things in my life currently. So yeah, I’m happy. I’m not just comfortable.

But if when you do that list, you look at that list and you go, oh, okay, well, I’d take my children and I’d take my collection of really amazing cocktail glasses and I’d probably take my shoes, and that’s it, chances are, you’re not happy, you’re comfortable. Okay? And if you’re looking at things and going … and your job especially, or your circle of friends, that’s a really big one. If you don’t say … if you can’t, when you’re writing that list about what you want to take through to that new clean slated life, you don’t include any of those people that are in your current circle of influence, time to get a new set of friends people. Because they’re not doing you a service, which means you’re not doing them a service being their friend either. But sometimes we forget that.

We talk about if a group of people are bringing you down or anything like that, you should … you’re the sum of the five people you hang around, all that kind of thing, that it’s bad for you so you should get out. Chances are, if you’re not in simpatico with them, they’re not going to be with you. So you’re all doing yourselves a favor by changing that. You love doing, oh, that’s awesome, I think that’s really awesome. My heart just goes out to everybody working with anyone in the caring industry at the moment. I’ve seen lots of posts … don’t if you know, but I had a down syndrome brother, and I’ve seen a lot of posts about people working with down’s kids and things that are going on at the moment in that world. And any frontline support people, I bow down to you. Truly, truly, truly do.

I got a bit side tracked there, didn’t I? That’s okay, it’s a Sunday. Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m frocked up so much on a Sunday. Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Today I’m going with my best friends from around the neighborhood, around the hood, we all filmed a little been isolation video. So I’m taking out my beanie in floor length, hot pinky purple fuchsia sequence, as you do. What else should you do on a Sunday afternoon, huh? So there you go. This week’s Q and A, are you happy or are you comfortable? Let me run back over the exercises I want you to do.

First thing. Remember, it’s a clean slate, it’s not a dramatic one. So you can get that, aah, out of your head. It’s funny noise, isn’t it? I want you to look at your five to 10 top values, because that is so, so, so vital to this exercise. Okay? Really, really, really, really, really important. Especially because you get to start afresh. Then I want you to write down the first thing you would do with that clean slate. Would it be buy a house? Would it be move to Vegas? Would it be … I will sing you a couple of songs someday Vicky. I promise. I’ve been trying to do it and it’s been a bit hard. Then write down, what would you take from your current life in re-establishing your new life. And then you’re good to go. You can honestly look at that and go, hmm, happy/ comfortable, hmm, happy/comfortable. I’m happy. And just to let you know, I did this exercise myself this week and I’m happy. I’m happy, which was actually really good to know.

There’s not that many things I’d change or not take with me. That was actually really comforting, especially with everything going on at the moment because it’s been a bit like, oh, what’s happening? What’s happening? I’m happy, which I hope you all are too. And it’s my pleasure to do these lives. And Vicky wants a little song. Ooh, okay. What can I sing on a Sunday afternoon? Huh? Sunday buddies … not that one. I just won’t sing that today. That won’t do this live any good whatsoever. I Know. Vicky, you might remember this one from days gone by. No, not that one. I can’t do a road song on one of these, can I? Would that be appropriate? I don’t think so. Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care, when you put your arms around me, I get a fever that’s so hard to bear. You give me fever. There you go. Bye. Love you all, and I will see you all tomorrow.

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