[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 362 Transcript: Mirror Exercise

by | Nov 19, 2020 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Hey gang. So as you know, in these Facebook lives, I somehow managed to stuff up the numbering when I was saving them in Facebook. So according to me, I should be finished today, but then we thought it was tomorrow. But according to the numbering, it’s a couple of days. So for the next two days, I’m going to do a couple of lives, just so tomorrow night, when we have the final, it is actually number 365, even though we’ve done more videos. Does that make sense? It’s all a bit crazy.

Anyway, I’m not going back to renumber them all, so you’re probably just going to get some bonuses, and I can hear you all going, “That’s terrible, Sam. You shouldn’t do extra.” Said nobody ever. So the one I’m going to do for you right now is an exercise I do with my clients, which I call a mirror exercise. Now, that’s a little bit scary because I want to say to you, this is when I need you to look in the mirror.

Now, I’m not talking about looking in the mirror and going, “Oh my gosh, look at that pimple. Can’t believe I’ve got those wrinkles. I’m 46, I’ve got wrinkles.” Actually, I’m not doing too badly. But anyway, not that kind of mirror exercise. What I mean is the metaphorical mirror. So I want you to just take a deep look at yourself. And there is a worksheet that goes with this, that if you go to samanthaleith.com/downloads or freebies. Oops. One of them. It is available there for you. So you can do this as you play along, or you can do it at any time you want, because I’m not going to take away that resource.

So the first one is I want you to take some time out for yourself, so you’ve got to be somewhere quiet. So I don’t suggest doing this when there is 10 kids running around, or like my house at the moment, waiting for WIRES to turn up and pick up a diamond python. So I want you take a piece of paper. If you don’t download the worksheet, that’s absolutely fine, but grab a trusty piece of paper and a pen and write down the answers to these questions, because they’re really important. It’s important to ask yourself these things and be really freaking honest, people. Do not bullshit yourself on this stuff. It’s way too important. Repeat after me. “I,” insert name here, “will be 100% honest while I complete this mirror exercise.” Thank you, the end. No, only joking.

So the first bit is who am I? You know that great song from A Chorus Line? “Who am I anyway? Am I my resume? Am I a picture of a person I don’t know?” Well, sometimes we are, but this is when I want you to be really honest. So the first question is, what do I like about myself? What do I like about myself? List a couple. I’m pretty and witty and bright. No. What is with me today?

Pinterest -- We look into mirrors but we only see the effects of our times on us – not our effects on others - Samantha LeithWhat do I like about myself? I’m a quick thinker. I’m empathetic. There you go. There’s two off the top of my head for me. But write down, I suggest three to five things, or you can do point form, or you can free write. What do you like about yourself?

Number two question is, what am I good at? What are you actually good at? Do you make the best banana bread this side of the black stump? Does anybody actually know what this side of the black stump means? Haven’t said that for a long time, but just popped out there, so it must be relevant. What are you actually good at?

I’m good at making a really good roast pork with a beer, onion and breadcrumb gravy. It’s really good. Good winter dish. But what am I good at? I’m not good at… I won’t get into what I’m not good at, but what am I good at?

Number three. What makes me happy? What makes you really happy? Is it the birds in the trees, singing along? Is it ice cream on a hot day? Is it morning sex? Is it a cuddle from your niece? What makes you happy?

The fourth one, what are my talents? What are your talents? Can you yodel in Greek? Is that even possible? (singing) What are your talents? Writing, singing, baking, drawing. What are they? What are your strengths? Now, there’s lots of exercises, like strengths finder exercises and things that you can do, which I highly recommend. I love a good personality tool. But you also intrinsically know what some of your strengths are. So what are your strengths? Again, free write or just jot down the points. My strength. You know what they are. Be really, really, really honest.

Then, here we get to this bit. What do I not like about myself? Again, free write or point from. What do I not like about myself? People pleasing. That odd occasion I don’t take my makeup off before I go to bed. Don’t tell anyone. What do I not like about myself? I don’t like my inability to get on top of LinkedIn messenger. Really don’t like that. It makes me feel like a slack arse. So there a couple of things I don’t like about myself. Be honest. What don’t you like about yourself?

Remember this exercise is for you to look at things. It’s like you’re looking in a mirror and working out a few home truths about yourself. It’s not for anyone else to see, so don’t go, “Oh God, I can’t put that down.” Write down whatever you think.

Next one. What would I like to improve? I would really, really like to improve some of my consistency in things. I really, really would. I would like to improve my running skills, but I hurt myself, so we might have to take that off the cards. There are so many things I’d like to improve. Don’t write down 500 things because that would feel really overwhelming. Again, as I said at the beginning, stick to three or five of them to help you. Honesty, honesty, honesty.

Next one. What am I grateful for? Now, you should be doing this every single day. I’ve been telling you to do this every single day. But if you don’t do it every single day, at least do it for the purposes of this exercise. What are you grateful for? So important to be grateful. And we’ve talked about pre gratitude as well. So what are you grateful? Three or five things.

And then this is a biggie. What resentments am I hanging on to? And sometimes we don’t like to admit that we’re resentful. “No, I’m way too personally developed to be resentful.” That’s bulldust. Absolute bulldust. Most of us are hanging on to some teeny tiny resentments from long, long gone past. And a lot of them are actually really inconsequential, but they’re like a jealousy or judgment or any of those things that just hang on in and they’re eating away at us. So write down what resentments you’re hanging onto.

So that’s all the looked in the mirror, being really, really honest stuff. All the good stuff and the bad stuff, and the somehow in between stuff, which is the stuff you’re working on. Then I want you to take a metaphorical leap of faith with this mirror exercise. So this is the bit where I want you to free write and just go, “Wow, I’m looking in the mirror. This is what I think. If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I be, do and have?” be, do, have. Be, do, have.

If you’ve watched some of these lives before, you’ll know that I have a folder, a virtual online one and a physical folder, that I put clippings and things of, the things I want to be, things I want to do, and things I want to have. It’s so important, that representation to me. So I want you to do that as well. Free write, or again, three to five points on each one. If you knew you couldn’t fail, who would you be? If you knew, without a shadow of a doubt that you were not going to land arse… head over… What was the saying? Arse over tit? Yeah. Hopeless. If you were absolutely going to nail that jump, what would you do?

And lastly, if money was no object, if circumstance was no object, what would you have? It’s the most fabulous part of this exercise because after you’ve really asked yourself those tough questions and been honest, you get to do this fun stuff. In a magical world, if unicorns took over and I could just fairy dust away my life, who would I be? What would I do? And what would I have? And write that down.

I hope you enjoyed this mirror exercise. I love doing this mirror exercise with my clients. Actually, I get them to do it and then we go through it. So if you want to know more about it, send me a message. It’s not that hard. You just hit Message. And as I said, I’m getting better on that whole replying to messages thing. And don’t forget tomorrow night is the last night, so there’s a bit of a party. Head on over to samanthaleith.com, get on my list because I won’t be doing this every day, and that’s the only place you’ll find out what I’m up to. Have a great Tuesday and I will see you all later. Bye.

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