Hi, gang. Two to go, yay! I wanted to talk about how to unconditionally love yourself because this came up for me today, because today hasn’t quite gone according to plan for tonight. There’s been a power outage at my house. I think it’s back on now, but I’ve got to get home and stuff. You know what? A year ago, maybe even six months ago, I would have beaten myself up like you wouldn’t believe, because of the plans that gone astray, just awful, awful to myself.
One of the biggest signs of being awful to yourself is I’m a nail biter. Yeah. It’s like picking your skin and things like that. It’s a really, really bad habit. And it’s what a lot of people today do. “Samantha, you didn’t manage to get home in time.”
Anyway, so unconditionally loving yourself. So I quickly jotted down my little tips. Because I don’t think I’ve done that on this one yet. So here are my 10 things that can help you love yourself unconditionally. Now, what do I mean by unconditional love? I mean the kind of love where there’s just no angst. There’s no negativity, there’s no resentment. There’s no…
And you’ve got to love yourself unconditionally. And most of us don’t, which I think is really, really sad. Most of us have funny little expectations for ourselves that we might not even be honest enough to admit to ourselves, but they’re there. We don’t quite look after ourselves enough. So that love is not unconditional, it is conditional. It’s based on achievements or how we look or what we say and what we do, who our friends are. There’s like all these teeny tiny things that put a price tag on the love that we show ourselves or give ourselves, honor ourselves with, I should say.
So number one is boundaries. Now all of the things I’m doing talk about today, I have actually done lives on these individual things. So you can go back and find them. But to me, these 10, just in a nutshell, unconditionally loving yourself. Be really aware of your boundaries and stick to them and remember with boundaries you don’t have to like, “Nike, I told you if you break my boundary, I’d leave. It’s not that Nike kind of thing.” You just need to know what you’re willing to accept and not accept for yourself. Okay? And then do it stick to it. Honor the commitments and promises you make to yourself people. Yes, me pointing my pointy finger at you.
Okay. Number two, forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is a big part of unconditional love and forgiveness can be hard, but as all the sayings over the years go, it’s that poison that eats away us. It doesn’t hurt anybody else, but we have to forgive ourselves. We really, really, really, truly have to, again, there’s a live on forgiveness.
Removing judgment, whoosh. If you Google judgment detox, there’s lots of things you can do to remove that. But again, I’ve done a live on it, but that judgment that we have on other people, we have on ourselves. So we can get up in the morning, get dressed, go to work, go to the office, do whatever we do. And we get there and we’re like, “Oh God, I didn’t put the good shoes on. I forgot to put those earrings on. I’m hopeless.” That’s a judgy thing. “Oh, I ate two biscuits.” That’s a judgy thing. And all of those negative things, it’s like, I’m not good enough. I can’t love myself, because I ate two biscuits. It’s two biscuits people, get over it. We’ve got to remove that judgment. And we judge ourselves and we judge others, and we’ve got to admit we do it because we do. So we want to remove it. Okay?
Number four. I like this one. Love yourself in the way you want to be loved. So even if you’re single, okay? If you want a partner or someone in your life that buys you flowers, for example, buy yourself the bloody flowers.
If you would love to have someone in your life that you go to the theater with, go to the theater. Love yourself the way you want to be loved. If you want to come home and there’s music playing and candles burning and all that kind of stuff, do it, romance yourself. It’s so important. So important.
The universe works in funny ways. But if you treat yourself in the way you want to be loved, it might just show up. Very funny.
Okay. And then number five, oops. Didn’t number that. That was silly, wasn’t it? Patience. Oh, remember, I’ve talked about this a lot. I’m practicing patience and tolerance. I’m practicing patience and tolerance. Be patient with yourself. If you think you’re going to achieve something overnight, it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Okay? Just like Rachel Hunter said, “Practice patience with yourself.” Do not expect miracles people. Okay? Again, there’s a whole live on this.
Concentrate on the now. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So what you have now, what you’re doing now. And this is a good exercise to do in the mirror with that. Like love your body now. Love your friends now. Love everything about yourself now. Okay? Because if you do it now exactly how you are in this second, that’s unconditional, because nothing can change. In this second, you can’t change anything. So it’s unconditional. So love yourself right now. Okay?
Look after your body. Big on this one, but look after the body that you want to see you through life. Okay? And by that I mean, don’t treat your body like a garbage dump. Don’t get drunk every night. Don’t smoke two packets of cigarette. You know, all this stuff. I don’t need to talk about that. But look after your body, okay? That’s one of the best things you can do for unconditional love. And I don’t mean, “Oh, be kinder to myself when I can run a marathon.” No. Look after your body where it is again in the now. Repeat after me. Now.
Okay. Self-talk. Oh, big one. Again, there’s a live on this. We are a pack of bitches when it comes to ourselves. I still do it. I still do. I’m like, Oh, Samantha…” The negative self-talk that we give ourselves, if someone else said those words to us, we would accuse them of being bullying. We would accuse them of abuse, we would sure as hell stop being their friends. So really monitor your self-talk, it’s very, very important. Again, guess what? There’s a live on self-talk. Done it all in these 360, whatever. We don’t know how many I’ve done now, gosh!
Anyway, mindfulness practices. Yes. Big one. Again, I talk about this all the time. Journaling, meditation, breath work, eight hours sleep, positive statements, goal setting, walking outside and just taking a breath. Any of those mindfulnessy kind of techniques? You got to do them. It really, really helps you with unconditionally loving yourself. I promise. Because you’re taking time for yourself, where you’re respecting your mind and your body and your soul and all those incredible things that need nurturing in those moments. So really, really, really important.
And the last one, can you read my writing? It’s so dodgy. It says awfulizing. Big no-no. Big no-no for unconditional love. So awfulizing and fantasizing. That’s the same. I put them in the same thing. So I’m talking about any of that future mentality. You probably go back to my live on lotto dreams. It’s a good one for this one.
So when you’re going, “Ah, you know, but, I’ll be okay when?” Or, “Oh god! If that happens, then I wouldn’t be okay.” If you’re flipping that future coin either way, you’re not loving yourself unconditionally. There’s a condition based on how you’re treating yourself. It’s like, if you lose the weight, if you get the husband, if you buy the house, if you lose the job, any of those things. If you’re thinking about those things and how you’re going to treat yourself better, or you’ll be happier, or there’s a condition attached to any of those things, then you’re not loving yourself unconditionally, okay? Got to get rid of that stuff. The only, only thing you need to worry about is loving yourself as you want to be loved, as you deserve to be loved, because as I said the other day in the live, you’re worthy. The minute you’re born, you’re worthy, regardless of what you do. Is loving yourself as you are now. Okay? So forget the past, go through your forgiveness stuff. Forget about the future stuff. So don’t awfulize, don’t fantasize. Be present in the now and love yourself, all those top 10 things I just talked about.
Should we go through that again? Number one, boundaries. Number two, forgiveness. Number three, remove judgment. Number four, love yourself like you want to be loved. Number five, patience. Then we had, be in the now. Then we had, look after your body. We had, be careful with that self-talk. Practicing mindfulness techniques, and last but not least, get rid of that future thinking, that awfulizing and fantasizing. So they are my 10 tips for unconditionally loving yourself. And I will see you all at seven o’clock tonight. Yay! Bye. Can’t press the finish button.