Good evening. I know I’ve talked about fake it until you make it before. Tonight I wanted to talk a little bit about authenticity and … Yes. Hi, Charlie. Charlie’s very authentic. There’s a great quote from Brene Brown. I like doing the quote thing. “To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect and vulnerable. We have to believe that we are fundamentally worthy of love and acceptance just as we are. I’ve learnt that there is no better way to invite more grace, gratitude, and joy into our lives than to be mindfully practicing authenticity.”
Love it. “Mindfully practicing authenticity.” Now, that may seem a bit weird because how do you practice being authentic? You are either authentic or you’re not authentic. Well, yes and no, because as human beings, especially if you’re fairly emotionally intelligent, you can become a bit of a mold and you can flex who you are, as I’ve talked about before, in certain situations. Now, you can still do that while being authentically you, but it’s a little … There’s a fine art to that, I guess, is what I should say.
You can’t try to be authentic. You either are or you’re not. If Yoda was going to say, Yoda would probably say, “Authentic, try is to not.” Okay, I’m crap at impersonations, but you get the drift. Being authentic means you feel everything because you’re not putting a coat of armor on. You’re not pretending to be something, you’re not thinking what’s the best option in this situation. You’re being you. And we are all gloriously us, and to put coverings on that and not be us, it’s kind of stupid really.
And I’ve done it. Trust me, I’ve done it so much in my life and I can feel myself now if I’m slipping into it and … stop, collaborate and listen to yourself. You know when you’re like, “I’m just going to play devil’s advocate because I can in the situation or I’ll agree with them because I can’t be bothered with the argument.” Well, that’s not being authentic. There’s no point. Don’t agree with them. Don’t say anything. If you can’t be authentically you, do nothing. Don’t pretend. That’s my guiding word.
So what are some of the things that you know about yourself … Sorry. What are some of the traits, I guess, of a truly authentic person? Well, all the feels. They feel everything, they know everything, they feel it all. Not know as a know it all, but they know who they are. The good stuff and the bad stuff. The stuff that they’re working on, the great stuff and the stuff that they want to leave behind them. They know all these things and they accept these things because they’ve developed their EQ and they are developing their EQ at all times.
It’s a constant … always, so they’re constantly learning and your EQ, as well as your IQ or your business acumen, or any of those things, is a constant thing. Never, ever, ever stop. They’re realistic. If you’re authentic, you’re very realistic. It is what it is. Their sense of humor tends to be a little fresher because they’re not angling for that sarcastic riddle, that narky wit, or the gossip, any of those things. They’re authentically funny.
And if they’re not a funny person, well, they’re not a funny person. They’re not trying to be funny. They live in the present. They are present when they’re in a situation and they have presence because it’s natural. When someone’s authentic, they have this peaceful presence because … Not peaceful as in peace, love and mung beans. Peaceful as there’s no … the energies just flows because it’s them.
They’re open. They’re open to thoughts and ideas and situations and because they’re not looking at everything through a lens of what they’re trying to be, and that lens can be really … can fuddle in as all hell. They’re honest to themselves and to the world. That’s a big one. I’ve struggled. I know there’s lots of people out there that talk about lying as a habit in their life. I’ve struggled with being honest to myself. Honest to other people, fine. Honest to myself, that’s been shy buzz over the years, but it’s really good now. But it’s taken a lot of work.
But authenticity, you have to be honest. You can’t not. As I said, you develop your EQ. That’s a big one for me. You express yourself fluidly, there’s no hesitation expressing yourself because you’re not trying to make up what you think someone wants to hear, whether you’re writing or speaking or filming or dressing, your makeup, anything. You’re expressing who you are because you’re comfortable in that because it’s not an act and it’s not … Sometimes we might have to go to something where we’ve got to put on a bit of a facade that’s like, hey, as long as 99.9% of the time you’re authentic.
You’re respectful. Authentic people are respectful, and authentic people hopefully … Well, nine times out of 10 believe the person they’re dealing with is authentic so there’s a mutual respect in that situation. So I had a situation today where I could feel myself going into little Mary mode, which means not being authentically me. The situation called for me to wear a different kind of hat and it felt yuck. Got to say, the more authentic I am, a bit of an oxymoron really. You either are or you’re not, as I’ve said. But it felt weird to me.
So I snapped myself out of it. I felt it. I saw it. It’s like, “No, I don’t actually want to say. I’m going to be authentic.” So I was, and you know what? The world didn’t fall down. No one died. No cats lost eight lives. I didn’t go rush out and grabbed a bottle champagne, anything like that. It was all okay. So yeah, I’m just challenging you today to look at your life today.
Are you authentic? Are you stepping into situations as yourself, warts and all, regardless of other people are going to think? That doesn’t mean if you’re a nudist walk into Harris Farm tomorrow naked, but you get the drift. Got to go to a nudie beach instead. Have a great night and I’ll see you all tomorrow.