I’m doing my [inaudible 00:00:03] even with my huge pimple on my nose. You can’t even see it. Oh, anyway. I feel like it’s taken over my whole face. I feel like I’m one of those old men with a big, bulbous nose. But that’s okay.
Friday sans make-up. My friend Yvonne said I should dim all the lights. Of course, that’s a great song. Fabulous song from Donna Summer, “dim all the lights, dim all the lights. Friday night and the lights are low.” What is it with Friday nights and low lights?
Happy Fri-yay people!
Speaking of which, tonight I want to talk about feelings, nothing more than feelings, and randomly singing shit. So, when we set goals… this is something that a wonderful, wonderful woman writer called Danielle LaPorte, wrote a book called “The Desire Map” a few years ago. See! Crediting people where credit’s due. And I actually got the good fortune of seeing Danielle speak on stage at a Marie Forleo event in New York, and she’s an amazing singer, and it was funny, I got the opportunity to meet her afterwards, and all I could say was, “God, that’s a gorgeous frock.”
Now I know that sounds inane, but truly, so many people have told her wonderful things about how she spoke, which were all true. She did speak wonderfully, and I was like, “man, your frock’s fabulous!” You know, you’ve got to give compliments like that as well sometimes.
So, aside from that, she talks a lot about when we’re… we’re not chasing a goal per se, we’re chasing a feeling within that goal. So when we set goals, and I, as you know, I set goals like: work with my clients on setting goals. Every single day, god my handwriting is terrible. Here, you can see that. I write my big dreams and then I write current goals out, every single day. I work on them, and I diarize when I’m going to work on them et cetera.
And I kind of lost track of going back and working on the feeling that I’m looking for, that I’m chasing, that I want when I get to that goal. Because I’m so… and it’s a double edged sword, because when you do a lot of personal development, we work a lot on gratitude, and being present with where you are in the now. So I’m really happy with life in the now. I’m very grateful for life in the now. Yes I have some small goals, I have some medium sized goals, and I’ve got some massive mo-fo goals.
So you can tend to, when you’re doing that, go, “oh I’m forward thinking, I’m not being present. I’m future thinking, I’m not being present. Hang on I got to be back in the present.” And then you get kind of confused. Hang on, am I meant to be grateful for where I am now, or am I meant to be going after a goal? I don’t know, which book tells me what to do there? And we all kind of work differently. Some people don’t work well with future goals. It can be too big, it can be too scary, so they need to chunk it down into smaller ones.
So for the last couple of days, I have, when I’ve, because I’d forgotten about this feeling thing, with my goals. So I have gone back and looked at what I’m currently doing. I didn’t work on all of them. But I picked a couple of the current ones and five of the big, big goals. And they’re big dreams, like if they… man if I get halfway there, HAPPY DAYS! But if I get all the way there, AWESOME!
And it will be about who I’ve become on the journey, it will be what I’ve learned, it will be the new people that are in my life, the experience I’ve had, all that kind of stuff. So I sat down with each one and I looked at how I wanted to feel. What was I chasing in that particular goal that maybe wasn’t in my life right now. And what was fascinating is a lot of the things, (Hey Joanie! See the pimple’s not that big.), the goal, the feeling that I am chasing in some of these things is actually already in my life in many of the cases, and I kind of just hadn’t noticed.
So if you do like working with goals, which I hope you all do, and if you want to know more about how to write goals, and set goals, reach them, plan for them, that kind of stuff, I’m your girl. But if you do currently have some you’re working on, that’s my challenge for you tonight and tomorrow, make it an “over the weekend” thing.
Pick five goals. I really, really don’t like people working with any more…. it gets a big skew-iffy. Or you can do, if you’ve got a goal for each area of your wheel of life, that maybe they’ve got a different timeframe, but a whole lot in the same timeframe can be really hard, and sit with those goals where you want to get to, and ask yourself what’s the feeling that you want with that goal.
I should have actually got this… where is her book, where is her book? Pink book, pink book. Can’t find it. I think I have a “download-ie” thing. Here we go. Desire Map.
So… she might even, if you go to www.daniellelaporte.com I would say… yip. She may even have a download for you, a freebie of some kind that can kind of give you lots of the feelings. Because when you first do it, you kind of go, “feelings, okay, feelings are happy, feelings are sad, feelings are loneliness, feelings are excitement, feelings are joy.” And we can kind of get a bit boring, there are hundreds and hundreds of incredible feelings out there.
So… oh here you go. So I’ve just found it. How do you want to feel? Here’s some of the ones she has: inspired, secure, turned on, alive, fulfilled, energized, embodied and nourished, energetic, bold, loved, sexy, strong, luxurious, unstoppable, interested. You know, all these kind of things. It’s fascinating to look at the goals you want and work out what the feeling is you want. And then, when you’ve done that, look at where you actually have that feeling in your life right now.
Are there moments in your life where you do feel sexy? Are there moments in your life where you do feel inspired? Are there moments in your life where you do feel secure? Because once you can connect with that feeling, it makes the goal that much more tangible. And a goal that’s more tangible is easier for you to continue to take the action that you need to take in order to get to it.
So that’s my challenge for you this weekend: write down some of your goals and work out what the feeling is that you want to get, and then look at where in your life you currently actually do have that feeling.
Because I promise you, there’ll be a little aspect of it somewhere. There will be. There’ll be this tiny bit. Otherwise you wouldn’t know what it was. If you’ve never felt sexy, how on earth can you say it’s a feeling you’re chasing, if you don’t really understand what it is. Well, maybe you can, but I’m guessing for the majority of you, if there’s a feeling you’re chasing, chances are you’ve experienced it in your life or is currently in your life, so you know what you’re aiming for.
So there you go; that’s your homework for tonight. I’m going to have a face mask and hopefully get rid of this pimple, and I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. Night !