Because you’re lying about it so much, you know what I mean? And another sign is if your head’s thinking one thing and your heart’s thinking another thing and you’re feeling this constant pull, it’s this tug of war between the lie that your head’s making up or that was coming out of your mouth, and what your heart’s actually feeling or wanting to do. So you’re in this constant, not a great state, it’s really, really not a good state. So how you can do it, how you can fix it rather. The first thing you want to do is understand, so take note of what you’re lying about and understand what the fantasy is that you’re trying to live, are you trying to run away from something or are you trying to run to something? Or are you making up the lie based on your… And tug between your needs versus your desires.
Because sometimes they can often not match at all, okay? So when you’re lying you’re running from something or to something, generally when you’re making up a lot of lies to ourselves. Take the diet analogy for example, I only ate 800 calories today, I know I did. And then if you actually sit down with a food journal or an app like my fitness pal or something and take note of everything, it’s like, Oh, okay, well that coffee actually had a 120 calories in it, not 80 calories and that had dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And you say, Oh, I had one biscuit and you actually had four biscuits, but no one saw you had the other three biscuits, so you can tell yourself that you only had the one biscuit, it’s lying to yourself.
Now that is a perfect, perfect example of lying to yourself. So the first step is to take note of what you’re lying about and then work out what it is you’re running away from or running to, which is causing the lie to happen, okay? Then you’ve got to take responsibility for that lie, Okay, I’m lying, yep, totally nailed it, I’m doing it. I’ve taken responsibility, then instead of getting pissed at yourself because you’re lying so-and-so, forgive yourself, go back to one of the other videos on how to forgive yourself because that’s really important. There’s no point, you’re already feeling bad about yourself because you’ve lied and you’ve caught yourself out on it. So beating yourself up about doing it, is just going to make you feel worse and the cycle is going to go down and then you’re going to make up a bigger lie to make yourself feel better, to get back into the fantasy land that the little lie to start with, was all about. That’s a mountain you do not want to climb, so take responsibility and forgive yourself.
Another good thing to do is if you’ve got a friend or a coach, or a family member, someone you can really be honest with, who’s going to listen without judgment. This one’s really important because saying to someone, I’ve got a friend that I can be really honest with and say, Oh my God, put your pile of life away. I did this and I actually did X, Y, and Z. And I can say that to them and I know there’s no judgment. You need someone if you’re going to share it, who’s going to listen with an open heart and absolute, and just appreciate the fact that you’re finally being honest with yourself, okay? So yeah, be honest with someone and tell them what’s going on is a big one, if you can, if you can’t, journal it, but get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out.
Then, when you’ve been in those situations where you were lying and you’ve taken notice of it, try to avoid those situations, that’s a really good first step to stop doing those things. So say you’re lying to yourself about money, for example, we’ve probably all done that at some point. Stop getting all the bloody emails with the shopping, okay? That’s a really good way to stop that lie because you don’t see the thing to then buy the thing to lie to yourself about having the money, or lying to yourself about needing something, okay? So unsubscribe, great example for that one. And then you work on your confidence because one of the easiest ways to stop lying to yourself is actually be confident in your true feelings and what’s really going on in your life, and then you don’t succumb to the fantasy of the life that you want or the life that you’re running away from. So the lie doesn’t kind of happen because it’s caught up in the middle there.
So then my tips. Everybody does it for starters, everybody does it at some point, Johnny, I know you’re honest Johnny, but there’s going to be something in your life that you’re just like not quite a hundred percent truthful to yourself with. I’m sure it’s a thing widespread. I know I have done it, okay? And I still occasionally do it. I probably ate more nuts today than I have put in my little diary, I didn’t weigh them, so it was probably too many. So yeah, be honest with yourself. Accept responsibility, forgive yourself. Take action, which means talking to somebody or avoiding the situation and working out why you’re doing it and building your confidence, so you don’t fall into that trap anymore, okay?
So there are my tips to stop lying to yourself because as I said, it can lead to massive anxiety, making yourself feel sick mentally as well as physically, you can actually manifest being ill, so don’t do that stuff, okay?
Have a great night. Love to everybody.