[365 Days of Extraordinary] Day 79 Transcript: How Do You Talk To Yourself?

by | Feb 4, 2020 | 365 Days of Facebook Lives

Good evening. Good evening. Tonight I want to ask you, how do you talk to yourself? So, we all do talk to ourselves. We’ve all got voices in our head that go yackity yackity, it’s when the voices talk back to us and get get in an argument that means a whole other live. But this was sparked by- a friend of mine posted on Facebook; how often do you look in the mirror and say, hey, sexy. You know, and I said, always. Okay, so in gym gear, chances are, I’m not going to be calling myself sexy, but I’m calling myself healthy. I’m congratulating myself having got my ass to the gym. So I’d still talk a positive. So what we’ve got to be really careful of is when we do things, and I’ll stick to the gym analogy, this morning at the gym for example, I was during these pushups and I found them so hard, like so hard, I wanted to quit.

I’m like, all I’m looking at as I go up and down is my boobs, as my own cleavage, you know… Finding it really, really, really hard. And for this split second, I was like, I can’t do this. I’m hopeless. I’m not fit enough, my arms too heavy. My arms aren’t strong enough. I’m hopeless. I shouldn’t be here. Everyone’s laughing. That kind of language went off my head. And then I snapped. I was like, no, Samantha Mary Leaf. You are doing it. You are fitter than you were yesterday. You are here. Your body is doing something, continue to do it. And it sparked this kind of like; Oh, I’ve got this, I got this, I’ve got this. Rather than feeling really defeatist, I felt good about it. I felt good about what I was doing. Because the truth is, I am fitter than I was yesterday.

Pinterest - Loving or hating the life you are living is solely all in your repeated self-talk - Samantha LeithWas I any good at doing the pushups? Hell no. But there’s no point saying something negative to myself because that just feeds on our insecurities. And one of the things I talk about a lot is with confidence is we’ve got to back away from feeding those insecurities and only add things to our confidence muscle, that pile of things that make us feel better about ourselves. So I bet you there’s probably been 10, 20, 30, God knows how many examples today, within a millisecond you’ve said something to yourself and it’s been in a negative tone. Bet you that. Like if I had my wallet on me, I’d put money on it, but I’m not a gambling person. But there will be, there absolutely will be. Maybe something little, like you could have parked better or you hit the snooze button or any myriad of examples. So I want you to challenge yourself, when you’re looking at, when you are saying those things yourself, even though they’re not out loud, there’s still that, sorry, backtrack.

When we do say those things to ourselves, a lot of the time, hey, a lot of the time they come to us from a subconscious level like we don’t, we do not think it before the voices in our head go, no, you’re hopeless. What I want you to do is listen to that voice and go, hang on a second. If somebody outside me was saying that, how would I feel? How would I respond? Would I want them to be saying that? And a lot of the time we are absolute fricking bitches to ourselves in our heads and it’s completely unnecessary. So next time something negative pops up, go hang on, if someone said that to me out loud, how would I think? How would I respond? And respond to yourself in that way. Don’t get narky with yourself because that’s just another negative statement, which is again going to nick away, self confidence and make you feel worse.

So what you want to do is look at it and go, okay, like the example of the gym, I’m hopeless. I can’t do these pushups. Flipped it. I’m fitter than I was yesterday. I’m doing better at it. Change the language, you know, just come up with a positive and you can do it with absolutely anything. I promise you. Cooking, great examples, cooking. Cook something. Recipe says, you know, brown the onions he might’ve char-grilled them a little bit too much. You know, negative, I’m hopeless, I can’t cook. Positive could be I cooked dinner instead of Uber Eats-ing. And you know what? I kind of like that charred flavor, brings it- brings out a bit more. Just flip it. Even if you’re making this shit up to start with, it doesn’t matter. It will eventually click in and it’s like your automatic response doesn’t have to be a negative.

Cause I don’t- I don’t know when we learn or when we were kind of taught or when we started modeling the behavior to be nasty to ourselves, because it’s not right. If our children were running around saying the things that we said to ourselves in our heads, to other people, oh my golly, gosh, they would be in trouble. If my daughter spoke to me the way I speak to myself, uh-uh she is not going anywhere at Christmas time. But we do it to ourselves. Why is it okay? Why is it okay to punish ourselves to cripple ourselves emotionally by saying nasty things? It’s just not okay. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and went, Hey, sexy. You know, why not? Because as that saying goes, you know, you may be the most perfectly beautiful, plump, juicy, amazing peach, but there’s still going to be somebody that doesn’t like peaches.

You know, you aren’t perfect in your entirety as you are now. So why say something nasty to yourself? Why do it? Like, why do it? There’s always, always a positive. So my challenge to you for the next 24 hours is to catch yourself when you’re saying something negative. If you can journal it out, if that’s not your thing, not everyone’s into journaling, just flip it in your mind. Like, how could that be a positive? I could have parked better. Oh, well, you know, I was in a rush. Just flip it positively. Okay? And you will, I promise, start to notice that you ease off on the bitchiness towards yourself, and you do get kinder. You know, there’s no point in not being kind to you, cause you only get you. So be nice to you. Keep it, support it, love you, you know, love you in all your imperfections. Okay? Night, night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

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