Episode #08: Building your Confidence muscle and supporting your Confidence during Christmas

by Samantha Leith | Dec 21, 2021 |

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Samantha Leith, and welcome to my show. This month is all about body confidence. How you feel in this thing that we have. We’re going to go through some boosters, some tips, some tricks, and hopefully have you coming out at the end feeling like your most confident self no matter what’s going on here. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she’s Maybelline. Okay, I’m not a commercial. And I’m not going to get into the argument that you’re either born with or without confidence.

 

Confidence Basics

I know we’re born with a certain level of confidence, or dare I say gusto, that lets you try new things. You fall down, you get up, you try again. You stumble over words and eventually find your way. But you also cry when your five-year-old best friend doesn’t invite you to a party, or you don’t get the mark you wanted to in that test.

I believe confidence is a muscle. Much like your biceps as you work on it every single day, it grows. Then you can have a day off from the gym and still feel okay. You aren’t as susceptible to getting knocked about, and your bounceability or confidence set point gets higher and stronger. Spending time working out the things that really makes you feel good is the simplest way to improve your confidence. There’s also many boosters and traits that I’ll be sharing with you.

I also encourage you to look back on your life at the moments where you felt the most confident in your body. Was it triggered by someone else or by you alone? By that I mean did you feel good in your skin because someone told you that you looked amazing? Be careful with that, because external validation is fleeting and never guaranteed.

I’ve always been pretty confident in my body from 140 kilos to whatever it is I am now, but so much of that came externally. Lovers, applause on stage, comments on a photo. It wasn’t until I took control of my health and my sex life that my body confidence became truly ingrained. We’ll delve into why you need to make great sex a priority another time, but it is there.

Just like building your physical body, having a team to work on your body confidence can really help. It’s vital, though, that it’s all for you. So, having a glam crew, brows, nails, hair, cetera, if it’s important to you. Brands that you feel amazing in. Maybe there’s some personal training or exercise you enjoy in your body that makes you feel good. Maybe having a coach by your side to hold that space for you and believe in you until you’re really confident in your skin is what’s really needed.

And don’t be afraid to change. If you want to get something done to your body, lose weight, put on weight, have your lips done, get Botox, go for it. I get Botox at the famous 11 for myself. I don’t like how my makeup looks in that little line. But I don’t care what you think.

Sit back and ask yourself some questions. Seriously, take time to do this.

  • Do you always feel like you need to improve yourself?
  • Do you like how you look?
  • Are you happy naked?
  • Do you always compare yourself to others?
  • When have you recently felt really unconfident? Describe the situation.                                                                                         o How did you handle it?
     o How did you talk to yourself about it?
     o What would you have liked to have happened?

And when have you felt most confident in your body? Describe the situation. Could it have been improved on? If so, how? I want you to really go back into that moment when you felt amazing and bring it into your life today.

Make up

Make me up before you go go, just like the Wham song. Yes, I like makeup. And when I can, I get someone else to do it for me. But I usually always have some on because it makes me feel me. My mom used to say, “Never leave the house without your lipstick on because you never know who you’re going to meet.” I will add, I don’t think she ever told me I had to make sure I had clean underwear on, but that’s a whole other story.

Makeup for me is a reflection of who I am. It might not be for you. So, take from this what you want. If makeup’s your jam, do not be phased by people saying you’re a little too made up. That’s their problem, not yours. If a natural look’s what you want to go for, go for it. And you know what? If you are the guy down the road that wants to put on some mascara and a little bit of gloss or a full face, go for it. Nothing dropping you other than yourself.

Affirmations

Affirmations are a common part of my daily success formula. They’re a big part of it. Whilst you can Google and find affirmations for any area of your life, and do that to get a little bit of help, I encourage you to write your own. They’re positive statements that describe your goals, beliefs, passions, values, mission, feelings, anything as though it’s already been achieved.

If it’s something you are aiming for, you can create an affirmation for it. And it’s not about just putting it out in the universe and making it happen. You’ve still got to do the work, but it’s about affirming that it is going to happen.

I’ll give you a couple of examples of mine. I’m committed to the daily habits that improve my physical, emotion, and mental well-being. I constantly and passionately take action towards achieving my business and personal goals. Now I’ve got alerts on my phone that remind me of those affirmations at various times throughout the day. I’ve got them stuck up on walls in the house, on my diary, even in the visor in my car. They’re everywhere, okay?

Some tips. They need to be positive. They need to be in the present tense. They need to be as short as possible, okay? Make it specific, but make it something that makes you really feel. I want you to have fun with them. Create graphics, stick them anywhere, write them out, have them in alarms like I do, make them a screensaver on your phone. And repeat them out loud at least once a day, and in a mirror is even better.

Christmas

Oh, let’s talk about Christmas. Yay. There’s ever a time of your year, especially in Australia because it’s summertime, our body confidence starts to go down the toilet. We’re surrounded by images of people looking incredible in skimpy little frocks, and we might not want to actually show our arms. We get invited to so many parties where there’s food and booze and food and booze. And then our habits slip and we don’t get up as early and we don’t do the things we want to do.

So, I really encourage you during this time of year to make sure you are sticking to the things that make you feel good. And it might be as simple, and trust me, I don’t really like this one, but it does make me feel better. When you’re at that cocktail party with all those people that you’ve got to have conversations with, have some water and some food before you go. Wear something you feel spectacular in. And then while you are there, have a boundary and not talk to people you don’t want to talk to. And for every alcoholic drink, you have, have a nonalcoholic one as well, and it will make the Christmas season so much smoother.

 

Food and alcohol

Let’s talk food, booze, and confidence. Food and booze were my go-to when I felt like crap. That instant sugar rush of the alcohol or chocolate for minutes or seconds, maybe an hour if you were lucky, would make me feel amazing. And then you slowly as the sugar leaves your system start to feel like crap. And then all those body insecurities are even worse. And if you’re insecure in your body, that insecurity goes into other areas of your life.

So, ask yourself when you want to just go, bang, I’ve had a bad day. I want chocolate. Is it the chocolate that you want or is it some comfort you want? And see if you can maybe get into some other habits of phoning a friend in that moment, or maybe you could have a cup of tea. Might make you feel good because it’s got that little bit of stuff in it that actually does literally make you feel better, but you won’t have that guilt from eating the chocolate.
Now don’t get me wrong. If you want to eat the chocolate, eat the chocolate. If you want to sip on a green smoothie because it’s really good for you, you know it’s good for you and you think it tastes great, sip on the green smoothie. If you want to eat a salad because you feel great eating it, eat it. If you want to eat pizza because, hey, you’re Italian, eat the pizza.

But I want you to make a conscious decision with what you’re doing with all of these things, not going to them for comfort. So, before you do, ask yourself, do I want this or am I wanting something that this is giving me, and can I get it from somewhere else?

 

Thank you for watching this week’s episode all about body confidence. Hopefully you’re going to have a little more zing in your step tonight. And please do the exercises. If you need some more information or you want to download the PDFs for them, head over to samanthaleith.com/freebees where you will find everything at your fingertips. See you next week.

 

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Produced by Rebecca Saunders and Pyrmont Studios

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What a Feeling
Songwriters: Antonio Lamar Dixon / Colbie Caillat / Kenny Edmonds Babyface / Jason Bradford Reeves
© Reservoir Media Music, Sony/atv Tunes Llc, Universal Music Corp., Sony/atv Songs Llc, Cocomarie Music, Faze 2 Music

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Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Allen
Vocals by Samantha Leith

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