Episode #09: The Confidence Stack

by Samantha Leith | Dec 28, 2021 |

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Samantha Leith, and welcome to my show. This month is all about body confidence, how you feel in this thing that we have. We’re going to go through some boosters, some tips, some tricks, and hopefully, have you coming out at the end feeling like your most confident self, no matter what’s going on here. Confidence has so many definitions. One thing that can be agreed on is that it’s not cut and dry. Confidence comes from the Latin word fiducia, which means to trust. Therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self. Many things help us to build our confidence muscle, small daily steps, huge actions, thoughts, beliefs, nature, nurture, genetics, family, the list goes on and on and on. So I’ve come up with what I believe to be 12 pieces of a confidence stack. Master these 12, and the world can crumble around you. You’ll be okay. Master these 12, and start falling in one, you’ll be okay.

 

Self-acceptance

It’s the state of complete acceptance of one’s self. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are without any qualifications, conditions, or expectations. Success, failures, faults, the size of your ass, positive, lumps, bumps, talents, all of you. 

Self-advocacy

Knowing yourself, knowing your needs, and knowing how to get what you need. Speaking up for yourself because you know and believe in your worth. 

Self-control

Executive function all up in your prefrontal cortex. It’s the ability to manage one’s impulses, emotions and behaviors, to achieve your long-term goals. It’s to avoid doing things that you’ll later regret, rather than immediately respond to every impulse as it arises. 

Self-discipline

It allows you to stay focused on your goals. It enables you to stay in control of yourself and of your reaction to any situation. It’s the ability to push yourself forward, stay motivated and take action, regardless of how you’re feeling physically or emotionally. Self-discipline is, again, like a muscle. The more you train it, the stronger you’ll become. 

Self-efficacy

The belief we have in our own abilities, specifically our ability to meet the challenges ahead of us and to complete a task successfully. General self-efficacy refers to our overall belief in our ability to succeed, our capabilities and the mastery of skills.

Self-esteem

Your opinion of yourself, what we think, feel, believe about ourselves. How much a person “values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself,” by Adler and Stewart in 2004.

Self-expression

The act of expressing yourself, and it can take a whole variety of forms. You can use your words, your facial expressions, your body, your movements, your clothing, actions and possessions, to express your authentic inner self. Speaking, writing, dress, creativity. It’s all about showing yourself, without showing yourself. Tell me you’re a Monica, without telling me you’re a Monica.

Self-growth

Having a growth mindset, a desire to become a better version of one’s self, every day. It’s a lifelong process of becoming all that you’re capable of being, that extraordinary you, and that road to self-actualization, as per Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Self-knowing

That’s the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively, which is not always easy or that possible. So looking at our habits can give ourselves a great self-knowing. What triggers us, what motivates us, seeing, knowing and understanding our thoughts, our feelings, our desires, those impulses, again, who we are even every single day. It’s in this knowing that we can change where we need to.

Self-love

Looking after yourself first. Oxygen, mask. Again, I’ll say it, it’s appreciation for one’s self. And it grows from our actions that support our physiological, psychological and spiritual growth. If you treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and well-being, you’ll have a high regard for your own physical, mental and emotional happiness.

Self- talk

That inner dialogue, we all have it. Negative Nancy, Penelope Positive, Argumentative Alice, Friendly Fran, Judge Judy, Silly Sally, the list goes on. That dialogue you repeat that is influenced by your subconscious mind. And it reveals your thoughts, your beliefs, your questions, your ideas, and negative patterns.

Self—worth

That internal sense of being good enough and worthy enough of love and belonging from others. The dictionary defines self-worth as the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. It’s about unconditional friendship and love for yourself. You don’t earn self-worth by doing worthy things. You already have it. Self-worth is about who you are, not what you do. It’s about knowing the absolute intrinsic value of who you are, right here, right now, regardless of anything you have or haven’t done.

Say, your self-love goes by the wayside for a bit. The rest of your stack will support you. You’ve taken a hit at work, so your self-efficacy is dwindling. The rest will prop you up. And that’s how the confidence stack is going to help you get to where you want to be.

Exercise

Yes, it is so good for you physically and mentally. It is not just what you do to lose weight, because we’re not talking about losing weight, we’re talking about being body confident. And being in tune with your body and your physicality is a massive part of that. And I find there’s actually no better way than yoga. And I got to be honest, I used to think yoga was just for hippy dippy people. It’s not. It makes you feel good. It connects you with your soul. So, if you wanted the instant confidence boost, go do some exercise.

Dress for Confidence

Do you remember that Roxette song, Get Dressed For Success? Well, I say you got to get dressed for confidence. But I haven’t written a song about it. But I want you to do it. You know those things that make you feel good. It might be a color. It might be a style. And no matter how bad your day is, or the tumble that your confidence has taken, having a change of outfit will change your physiology and change everything about how you’re feeling. Now, this can be the hard thing to kind of get to know. You might look in your wardrobe and see things that have been, they were just on trend three years ago, and you really don’t want to part it because, oh my God, it was the most expensive jacket you ever, ever, ever brought. If it doesn’t make you feel good, get rid of it. Not going to go so far as saying, you have to KonMarie your whole house and your whole wardrobe. But I do want you to try things on.

And instead of asking, does it bring me joy, I want you to ask, does this make me feel alive? Okay. Because when you’re feeling really confident in your body, trust me, you feel really, really alive. Your blood is pumping. Your heart is racing. You feel fantastic. Anybody could walk in that door and you’d be on fire. You could walk in any door and feel on fire. So dress for confidence every day, regardless of what you are doing. If you’re in your Lulu Lemons, make them the ones you really, really love, with a great pair of sneakers. And if you’re going out, I play the little, little notch. And then as Coco Chanel said, maybe take something off.

Thank you for watching this week’s episode, all about body confidence. Hopefully, you’re going to have a little more zing in your step tonight, and please do the exercises. If you need some more information, or you want to download the PDFs for them, head over to samanthaleith.com/freebies, where you will find everything at your fingertips. See you next week.

 

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Produced by Rebecca Saunders and Pyrmont Studios

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What a Feeling
Songwriters: Antonio Lamar Dixon / Colbie Caillat / Kenny Edmonds Babyface / Jason Bradford Reeves
© Reservoir Media Music, Sony/atv Tunes Llc, Universal Music Corp., Sony/atv Songs Llc, Cocomarie Music, Faze 2 Music

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Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Allen
Vocals by Samantha Leith

 

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