Episode #13: How to let go of a goal and celebrate as you go
by Samantha Leith | Jan 25, 2022 |
Welcome to the Samantha Leith Show, with me, Samantha Leith. This month is all about planning your year, doing what you can to make it the best year we possibly can. Some things are going to sound familiar, and some things may be really new to you. But either way, I encourage you to tackle this planning with excitement because you never know what extraordinary things may happen.
Affirmations to cement your goals
Affirmations are a common part of many successful people’s daily habits. And whilst you can Google and find affirmations for any area of your life, I really encourage you to write your own. They’re positive statements to describe your goals, new beliefs, passions, values, mission, feeling, businesses, house, et cetera, et cetera, as already having been achieved. Pretty much, if it’s something you’re aiming for, you can create an affirmation around it. They’re proven to help improve your confidence and your mindset, as well as helping you achieve the very thing you’re affirming.
Here are some examples of some general affirmations. “I’m committed to the daily habits that improve my physical, emotional and mental well-being.” “I constantly and passionately take action towards achieving my business and personal goals.” “I’m enjoying living in my beautiful beachfront villa on the coast of Maui,” or somewhere better. “I’m so happy and grateful now that I’m effortlessly depositing an extra thousand dollars per month in my bank account.” “I am confident and comfortable with myself and who I am.” “I give myself the care and attention that I deserve.” For a really specific goal-related one, though, it might look a little different. “I love the energy I have exercising every single day.” “I feel so inspired when I walk into my clean, clutter-free home.” “I treasure each night with my family.”
Some tips for writing them. Start with a statement like “I am”, or “I”, or use the present tense. We want to state everything in the positive. Be as brief as possible. Use words that make you feel something. Be specific and keep it about yourself and not others. Don’t worry about the how, just have fun and write them. Then get creative. Graphics, stick them everywhere. Write them out. Have them as phone alarm. Share them. Repeat them aloud at least once a day. In a mirror is even better.
How to track your achievements
As I said, it’s really important to see how you’re going throughout the year. So I like having printouts. You can go to something like Fiverr and get them made, tailored specifically to what you are doing. For example, a book a week. So, I’ve got 52 little books that I’ve got to mark off on a piece of paper. That’s the way I like to chart. You can do a simple Excel spreadsheet and tick them off that way, or you could do it electronically. But I do encourage you to have somewhere handy, where you can mark off every single thing you are going for.
Letting go of a goal
Shikes! You’ve set a goal. You really wanted it. Now you think you have to let it go. It happens, and probably for a very good reason. Sometimes, it’s for reasons outside your control. You wanted to move house this year, but your son got accepted into a local school on a scholarship for tennis. So, you decide to stay. Okay, that’s really random. I don’t have a son and I don’t play tennis, but you get the idea. Maybe it’s in your control. You thought this was the year you were going to tick off mastering skiing. But after two weekends to the snow, you decided you really, really hate the cold, and no amount of groovy gear is going to make you want go back.
Let’s look at the hardest scenario. You wanted to start your own business this year full-time. It’s been a side hustle for a couple of years, but you wanted to take the plunge. Or you get what you think will be the last 90 days in corporate, and you get a job opportunity that takes your breath away. You’re confused, because you love your side hustle, and you thought you wanted it, but this job, it ticks so many boxes. What do you do? Well, ultimately, only you can decide. But it’s about what fits into your vision that you have for your life at that time. Some dreams aren’t meant to be, and some are. Whatever you decide, you need to let go of goals with grace, no guilt, no blame. Release it. It was a dream, and now it’s not. It doesn’t mean you failed. It’s not a sticker on your wall of shame.
One more for the road. What if you’re working hard towards your goal and not achieving at the rate you thought you would? Do you give up? No? Well, maybe? But, not before first looking into what’s really going on. Go back to the very beginning. Look at why you wanted the goal, and remember that exercise about obstacles. Did you foresee any of these issues? If in your gut, you still really want the goal, then you probably need to change the timeline or modify the actions that you’re taking to achieve the goal.
There’s a quote: “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can in 10 years.” It’s been thrown around in various forms as being said by many people, from Bill Gates to Tony Robbins, and I’m not 100% sure who it was, but you get the gist. You may simply need to move buying your dream home by the beach to a couple of years away and not let it go. We need to remember the goals are ours. It’s not a commitment to the world. If we need to change or let it go, it’s okay. Olympic athletes change goals because they get pregnant. Singers change release dates because they stopped working with the producer. The world won’t fall down around you, if it takes an extra six months to learn how to code, or to decide you hate cooking after all. Being kind to yourself is crucial in all of this, because it helps build that confidence muscle, which will in turn make it easier for you to achieve your goals.
Your Advisory Board
Let’s face it, crap happens. We might have a hiccup. We might be bit indecisive about something. So, have an advisory board. My virtual advisory board includes, and I’ve said it before, Beyonce, Sara Blakely, myself, Jillian Michaels, the list goes on. And when I’m faced with the decision that I’m finding a little bit tough, I ask myself, what would ??? do in this situation? What would Nigella do with this leg of lamb? They might not know it, but they inspire us and they can actually help us to move forward. So, have fun. Create an advisory board and you never never know. One day, I might be sitting at a coffee shop with Nigella.
Reviewing and celebrating as you go
You need to set some time aside each week to look at how you’re going. It doesn’t matter if you do it, when you work on your diary and your to-dos, et cetera, or as part of your Sunday night wind down ritual. It simply needs to get done. I suggest weekly, and then a bigger check-in every month and every quarter. Some of the questions you need to ask yourself, and yes, there’s a worksheet. “Ah, what have I achieved? Did I miss any checkpoints? Is there anything I need to add or to let go of? What worked? What didn’t work? Where can I get some extra help? And, how do I feel about that goal?”
Then I encourage you to have mini celebrations, your rewards for reaching milestones. There’s no reason to withhold celebrations until that big, final moment of celebration and achievement. Setting a goal and working towards it and achieving it are all equally important. They’re the steps on your journey. Imagine that your goal is like a hike to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. You know that the view from the summit will be amazing, but don’t forget that the steps to get there are as well. Would you not celebrate the milestones you reach along the way? The elevation markers, the mileage markers? Of course, you would. Would you not want to stop and enjoy how far you’ve come, and revel in the wonderful things you’ve experienced so far? Would you keep marching resolutely towards the summit, eyes down on the trail, and not stop in and soak the wonder of it all and be glad of how far you’ve come? Of, course not. We want to celebrate the moments, the moments are the jewels and the crown, the moments of overcoming, of reaching a little higher, of getting that one step closer. So reward yourself. Show yourself some appreciation for making the effort. Give yourself some loving and a treat.
But be careful. Remember when we talked about why you’re doing all this and your vision? The internal rewards are more important than the external ones. Okay? So avoid making those treats the big motivators. Really, the best way to celebrate is twofold. Write about it in your journal. Then you can read your success entries when you’re feeling a bit mmm, and give yourself that motivational kick up the butt. And second, celebrate with friends, the ones who support and believe in you. Your biggest motivators should be internal, the feeling of accomplishment, the boost in self confidence and so on. Treats are fine, of course, but don’t make them all chocolate and champagne. Don’t deny yourself, but don’t make them totally the carrot that’s getting you to push forward.
And when you celebrate, imagine me raising a glass and a toast to you. And don’t forget that really big celebration at the end of the year, when you pull out that envelope and read that letter that you wrote to yourself and you see what you did. You’re a extraordinary person, you.
Thanks for watching this week’s episode of that Samantha Leith Show. Be sure to head on over to samanthaleith.com/freebies, whatever way it goes, freebees, and grab any of the worksheets I mentioned. And I’d really love it if you click on that subscribe button and share this video. When you do, don’t forget to tag me so I can say thank you. And remember, I believe you are extraordinary. You have got this.
🎶 What a Feeling Songwriters: Irene Cara / Giorgio Moroder / Keith Forsey © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc
🎙️ Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Allen Vocals by Samantha Leith