Episode 30: Being stuck in emotional loops and using emotions, moods & feelings for success

by | Jun 21, 2022


Welcome to the Samantha Leith Show with me! Yep, you guessed it, Samantha Leith.

Each month, we dive into a different topic. And this month is all about emotions, feelings, and moods. What they are, how we use them, the good, the bad, and the what the… and how we can get a true handle on them to help us with our extraordinary lives. Round and round you go, stuck in a cognitive loop. These loops can be both positive or negative. And I think it’s really good for us to understand both.

It’s one of those days when you wake up feeling great. And from the very first coffee, mm-hmm (affirmative) , coffee, life is good. The sun is shining. The traffic’s great. That sandwich was the best you’ve ever eaten. You feel grateful and alive. People are chitchatting with you, full of laughter and delight. That project you’ve been working on gets finished with ease. When you get home, your husband has bought you a gift and made dinner. Your head hits the pillow feeling like life is a gift. It’s almost as if you are somehow touched by magical fairy kisses.

Flip it, and you feel like you’re the walking example of waking up on the wrong side of your bed and you put on your grumpy pants. Everything goes wrong. You have a fight with your daughter. The train breaks down. Then, oh boy, that annoying client has left three messages and you really don’t want to deal with it. Your boss calls you in and you snap in defensiveness. There goes that pay rise you were hoping for. When you get home, you forgot you were meant to be at a school function. Nobody from the P&C calls to see why you weren’t there. You could have been ill, but nobody cares. Yep, you know you’re a terrible person with nothing to be happy about. And today proves how much life sucks.

At a base level as humans, we want to be right. And when we’re in these loops, we search for and we find the evidence to support how we’re feeling. It’s actually bonkers. These loops are much like habit loops. We can learn to master them, so we’ve got a control of our lives. Circumstance, emotion, feelings, thoughts, action. We often don’t have control over the circumstances, as we’ve discussed. And our core emotions are physical reactions to those circumstances. But we do have control over our feelings and thoughts, and the actions that we take based on them. It’s not as simple as snapping out of it.

Try this, get grounded in the present, yep, with some mindfulness habits like breathing. Recognize your thoughts and the pattern you may be in. Accept this with no judgment. Then get curious about why this is happening. Are the feelings based on truth or a perception you have in the moment? Find something positive to interrupt the thinking. It’s actually really hard to be grumpy when you’re thinking about your really cute little puppy. If you can do some writing or talk about it with someone, then bingo, do that. Make an effort every single day to look for examples of positivity in the world, and breaking these loops will become a lot easier.

You’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with life recently. I know. So you’re pushing yourself to go out. You walk into the party with the emotions of anticipation and joy, quieting the feeling of overwhelm because, well, you see some old friends and you think you look pretty hot. Conversations flow with ease. While you’ve been chatting, you’ve realized that it’s not all bad. Everyone has stuff going on. You can totally get on top of it all again. You leave the party floating in fabulousness. You decide to frock up again and get to work on that list of things that you know will improve your life. You got out of a loop.

I just want to cry. If I look up, maybe the tears won’t come. I don’t want to look at anybody, I don’t want to talk to anybody. I don’t want to do any of this. I feel like my back looks like it belong in a bell tower, this was so not a good idea. All the memories are coming back and I’m cold and it’s all imprinted on me. Why is life so unfair?

Let’s finish up by looking at how you can use the magical mix of emotions, feelings, and moods for success. Leveraging the power we have over our state is crucial on the road to success, letting your emotions, your feelings and your moods go wild and free is like letting a child into Disneyland, unaccompanied for the first time. And who knows what’ll happen. If we started the base with our emotions and choose to not think of them as good or bad, we can find ways to explore more positivity from them.

For example, if you are angry about a situation within your local area, can you use that to light a fire in your belly and motivate you to do more on the issue, finding a positive? What about a time when sadness has hit you over their head with a hammer because of the death of a loved one? That sadness may in turn, have you searching for more meaning and connectedness. So you reach out to people, then there’s the joy you are experiencing when you do something yet you don’t do it often enough. You then move mountains to have more of that in your life. Most of us have had experiences with deeper searching over the last couple of years with the pandemic so much was outside of our control. And many people were experiencing true fear for the first time. I’d encourage you to check out the EMF, ah, funny girl.

Yep. Emotions, moods, and feelings, inventory in the worksheet. I swear it can be really enlightening. Now. Two feelings, nothing more than, feelings. My first step to being able to use feelings for success is to not indulge in the ones that are stopping you from being successful. I know that probably sounds a little counterintuitive, but believe me, when you realize you’ve kept yourself in a busy pattern because it made you feel important, yet it prevented you from being okay with being a little fearful and actually doing the things that will move the needle forward. You’ll understand that very well. So go back to the basics of experiencing a feeling, learning from it, moving on and fast.

Second tip. Now hold onto your hats because it’s that crazy. Learn to cultivate and embrace the feeling of success. What? Yep. Manifestation 101, feel successful, then get to work on creating that success. Stack them up high baby! Discover the key feelings that help you to feel more successful. They may include motivated, patient, dedicated, inspired, grateful, compassionate, trusting. I often write I’m determined in my journal because it’s a feeling I want to experience, well, more of. A good exercise for this, yep, in the worksheet, is for you to sit down with your current goals or your extraordinary dreams and where you can add the name of someone that’s achieved it already, then write out and yep, unless they’ve got something biographical out there to read or you know them personally, you’re making this stuff up. But I want you to write out the feelings you think they harnessed to reach that goal. Then every day you’ll want to reflect on those feelings, and when possible or in situations, try them on for size. Maybe vibrant is just what you need to feel now. Sounds pretty good to me.

Now to your mood or that cloud that’s either dark or light and fluffy, hanging over your head. What’s more likely to have you ticking off those To-Do’s? Being down in the dumps or having a pep in your step? Surely, we really don’t need me to answer that. So I’m going to leave you with this quote. “If you’re not in the mood, you can’t do that stuff right.” – J.D. Salinger.

This is hilarious. I never would’ve thought anybody would bring me here. So not me, but I know they have my back. So I guess it’ll be okay. I felt a little tense, but it’s easy because, well, I guess I’m kind of having fun, starting to feel brave, maybe more confident as my heart rate slows down and I’ve stopped feeling so rushed. My eyes are wide open taking in all this newness, kind of feel like my whole body is straightening up as well. Wow.

Thank you so much for watching this week’s episode, please like, share, comment and subscribe and help me to be able to bring you more juicy topics like this. And don’t forget to grab the worksheets on the website. Samanthaleith.com/freebies, and please stay in touch on the socials. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to.


Produced by Rebecca Saunders and Pyrmont Studios

Pharrell L Williams
Happy © Emi April Music Inc., Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Universal Pictures Music, More Water From Nazareth

Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Tan
Vocals by Samantha Leith


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