Episode 44: Toxic Positivity and Creating New Thoughts

by | Sep 2, 2022

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

You my darling have all the answers in there already. You have everything you need to achieve your goals and dreams. You’ve got to believe it.

(singing)

Seriously. If people could actually read our minds, they’d probably think we were nuts. If you’re anything like me, you probably think yourself a bit bonkers some days. Our mind is our most powerful tool, yet we aren’t taught how to manage it. Now that is crazy. So this month on the Samantha Leith Show, we’re going to take a squeeze at the chaos and learn some ways to manage our minds.

Ultimately, we all want to be happy, but it’s not the reality of life my friends. There will be negative. There will be mind drama. There will be things you can’t control that trigger a thought, emotion and feeling that propels you to do or not do something. It’s called life. It’s called being human. So don’t seek perfection because you’re not going to find it.

What you can do is cultivate more happiness by having a sense of purpose, knowing your passions, building better beliefs, working on changing negative thoughts, spending time with people you love or doing things you love. Breaking negative patterns, creating better habits, going for your goals and dreams and being intentionally optimistic.

Oh, Sammy, intentional optimism. Isn’t that false positivity? Nope. I am most of the time an intentional optimist. I look for the positive in situations. I don’t make it up if it’s not there, but I look. I’m a glass half full type of girl. So when I’m unable to find positivity more often than I’m able to find it, I know that my negativity is starting to get too great and I really got to do some work.

What do you see? A glass half full or a glass half empty? Okay. Now I’m thinking about Cadbury ads from the eighties and a glass and a half of full cream milk in every 200 gram block. I don’t even know if that’s actually what they said in the ad, but it’s what I’m thinking about. So a thought, another thought. You can go back and watch episodes on habits and goals, finding purpose and passion and more. So for now, we’re going to look at the thoughts you need to believe and how to do it in order to have the extraordinary life you so deserve.

Yeah. It’s in the worksheet, but let’s go through it here. You’ve got a really big dream and maybe you’ve done the work to create a goal that will help you get there. Even if you haven’t, there’s an episode for that. However, your thoughts are not playing along with you. Why do you think you can’t do it? Why do you think you can do it?

If you were to look at some of the documentaries of major superstars, like Lady Gaga, JLo, Taylor Swift, Michael Jordan, and the Rock just to name a few, you will see a common thread. They believed in themselves. Yes along the way, many things played a part. Hard work, luck, management, timing, opportunities, talent, lots of things. But at the core, they had a belief that they had what it takes. In many cases, belief far outweighs talent and skill.

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” It’s true. So how do you go from thinking you can’t to thinking you can? It can be a really big leap. So you guessed it, let’s take baby steps. Firstly, what is it you want to achieve? What is that big dream? Think big here. As silly as it sounds, we’re often jammed when chasing a goal because it’s not actually big enough.

What do you need to think to achieve that goal? Is it that you are the most talented pianist in the world or maybe that there are people out there that need to hear what you have to say? If it’s a dream about breaking generational poverty, you might need to think that you are smart enough to be wealthy. No, I’m not saying you need to be smart to be wealthy, but it’s a common thought that holds people back. You may need to look at someone whose life, career or family, et cetera, is something you want for yourself.

What thoughts do you think they think? Try some on. It’s a bit like trying on some outfits. Some will feel really strange and others will feel like an extension of you. Here’s where it might help to do a visualization. Close your eyes, picture your future self. You’ve achieved all you’ve ever wanted. Feel it. See it, smell it. Now think about what it took to get there. What action did you need to take? How did you feel? What were your most common thoughts? What were the habits you stuck to?

When you’re done thinking, grab some paper. Yep, the worksheet and write everything that came up for you. You may have started thinking something negative too. What was it? You my darling have all the answers in there already. You have everything you need to achieve your goals and dreams. You’ve got to believe it. There are four stages to getting this belief and they’re spoken about in a few ways, but it’s the same general meaning. I don’t believe it’s possible. I believe it’s possible for others. I believe I can. I believe I will. Or maybe it’s I can do it. I’m doing it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it again. Or it’s impossible. It’s possible. It’s improbable. It’s probable. Whichever way you look at it, like a good car it’s not ideal to go from first to fifth. So we take it in stages.

Firstly, you want to look for evidence or proof of the better belief. Say you want to run a marathon, but your current thought is not exactly Sporty Spice. Where in your past were you more active or enjoyed sport? Maybe it was netball in primary school. Or you realize that you love playing chases with your dog. If you look and you can’t find evidence to support a version of that particular thought, find another one that shows you a past success. Start small and grow into this new belief by building an action in every single day. I’ll say it again. Every single day.

I know for me to achieve my goals, I need to reach out more. I had thoughts, okay let’s be honest they still rear their ugly head that I wasn’t good at sales. Sales is icky and if people wanted to work with me, they would. Okay. The clincher. I need someone else to believe in me and to do that work. So delusional. Now I set myself small targets of outreach every day. I don’t always do it, but I am working on moving from impossible to probable.

Now back to the marathon idea. Walk a little bit, it’s impossible. Add a short jog, it’s possible. Try a lengthier run, it’s improbable. Build up slowly, it’s probable. Next thing you know, you did the bloody marathon. So that’s the action. But what about the thought? That’s where the last few episodes come in. Anytime those thoughts of doubt creep in, look inside and do the work. What am I thinking? Which character’s taken over? Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it important? Where in my body am I experiencing this thought? Can I shift it? What can I do without this thought? Who would I be? What would be a better thought for me to have in the moment?

Come on, we’ve done the works and you can do this. I seriously don’t expect you to go through all of these questions each time. Like many things in personal development world, if you did it all, you wouldn’t have time to do anything else. So don’t do that. In time you will know what you need to ask yourself in each and every moment. The biggest and best thing you can do for yourself when working on shifting these thoughts that are the beliefs that are holding you back is to be intentional.

So every single morning when you journal, I want you to write this statement. Today I choose to have the thought I am smart and have put in the work to get my degree. I am enough and know that my ideal partner is out there. I am brave and will nail my sales calls today. You get the idea. Bottom line in all of this work is if a friend or a family member who you loved and respected said your most common thoughts out loud to you, what would you think? Chances are you wouldn’t think they truly cared. So why, oh why do we let our own mind talk to us like this?

Manage your mind and you’re one step closer to having that extraordinary life that I know you dream of. Thank you for watching this week’s episode of the Samantha Leith Show with me, Samantha Leith. If you’ve liked any of these episodes, I’d love it if you subscribed, shared or commented because it really helps. If you want some more support with managing your mind, tag me on social media at Samantha Leith and let’s have a chat. Remember those thoughts that take up that space between our ears are capable of supporting our fabulousness or bringing us crashing down. And you, my dear are in the driver’s seat.

 

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Produced by Rebecca Saunders and Pyrmont Studios

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If you could read my mind
Songwriters: Gordon Lightfoot
© Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

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Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Tan
Vocals by Samantha Leith

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