Episode Description

In this episode of The Samantha Leith Podcast we take a look at how to Dream, Believe, Act and Achieve. The method I use to create what I want in this thing called life. Taken from episodes 49-52 of The Samantha Leith Show.

Show Notes

(singing).

Welcome to the Samantha Leith Show with your hostess with the mostest me Samantha Leith. I can’t believe I haven’t said that yet in all these episodes. That’s crazy. I should have said that. Anyway, back to the show. Chances are there’s something in your life that you’ve always wanted to do, but for some reason you haven’t. So this month we are looking at the magic that is dream, believe, act, and achieve framework. It’s the framework I use for myself and my clients to take something from inside our hearts and our minds and to make it actually happen. Let’s go.

DREAMS

Dreams. We all have them, but we don’t all make them happen. And sadly, some of us never even try. Our dreams are as varied as our DNA. Maybe it’s about creating a program that puts clean drinking water in remote villages, or developing a cure for type one diabetes. It could be closer to home and you wanna earn enough online to be a stay-at-home dad, able to be there every afternoon to hear how their day went. Or when you were little, you had a dream that one day you’d publish a book. Or like me, you wanted to be the first female admiral of the New Zealand Navy. Okay? Probably not, but you get the idea. Maybe your dream will impact your family or maybe it will impact the world. As the saying goes, it’s not the size that matters. Dreams don’t have to be world changing. They have to be you changing. I want to ask you, what is your dream? One that you’ve been holding close to your heart and never truly taken action on? Stick with me, here. If you’d have had a conversation with me a couple of years ago, I would’ve sworn to you, however that goes, that I’d really gone from my dreams.

I would’ve been lying. I tiptoed around my dreams doing enough to think I’d worked on them, but not enough to actually make a difference. You see, I was scared. I was living a life. I called lotto dreams. I can’t be the only one. You know, you imagine how you’re gonna spend that 20 million powerball. Maybe we even make a spreadsheet of who you’ll give some to, but you never actually buy the ticket that’s living a lotto dream. I would imagine what my biggest vision would feel like. I could picture it if I’m really honest. I even spent some of the money I thought I’d earn when I hadn’t even made a scent. I was kidding myself, totally delusional. I didn’t do the work and I wasn’t consistent in anything. Was I scared of failure or was I scared of success? What do you think you fear?

I used to joke that on my tombstone it would say, here lies the girl that almost. I know, my decades of undiagnosed ADHD didn’t help with this. However, I could always manage to do what needed to be done when it was about someone or something else. Looking back, I know some of them weren’t the right dreams. That’s what I want you to know. It’s okay. You are where you are right now, and it’s freaking perfect. Every single moment has led you to watching this video. Now, when the world is aligned for you to hear what I have to say to you, and for you to cement those dreams and to go for them, how do you know what dream is a perfect dream for you? You don’t. Sorry. Remember, there’s no such thing as perfect, only your idea of perfect. I can’t tell you what the best dream to go for is either, but I can help you to make that decision for yourself. So let’s do it.

Over a few months now, we’ve touched on passion, vision, mission, big goal, dreams, and so much more. So we’re gonna link in the notes to where you can go back and do those in depth. But I’m gonna cover the basics here again, yes, this is where you can go to. I’m gonna get it wrong always samanthaleith.com/freebies and grab the worksheet for the month. And there are 10 questions I want you to ask yourself, what is amazing about your life right now? We have to start from a place of gratitude. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What’s missing from your life right now? What are you scared of doing and of not doing? What are your top five passions? What’s your vision? What’s your mission? What are your current goals? What do you want your legacy to be? And what does success mean to you? There are many more questions in the detailed worksheets for you, and you can go further on those topics if you want to. And once you’ve done this, I want you to let go of any expectations you have and think.

Think about what you are meant for you were born. That in itself is a miracle. It’s proof of possibility. Then if I were to ask you, what are the biggest, most extraordinary dreams you have for your life, what would you say? Write it down. If it’s something that’s pure for you, these words will pour out. You know, you know what you were put on this earth to do. When you’re riding this, think big. I mean, really big, they’re kind of big. That makes you feel a little bit sick. The kind of big that makes you scared that if someone finds these noses, they’ll think you’re a total fruit loop, or that you’ve been hypnotized into doing something crazy.

This can be hard at first. Trust me, you don’t want to get it out. I told a very new friend of mine a few dreams recently. It was the first time the words had come outta my mouth. I hadn’t even shared it with my business or my personal besties. Sorry guys. I was that scared. Who the was I to think I could do this? This dream was so clear in my mind and I felt safe to turn it into real words. That was my first step into taking action into my dream. But we’ll do more on that later. You don’t have to share them, but if you can, it’s brilliant. And if you want somebody to hear you, but don’t feel okay to share with someone in your life, send your dream to me. I promise to be your cheerleader. I should have pompoms and believe in you.

SCARED TO SHARE YOUR DREAMS?

So why are we scared to share our dreams? Welcome to the world of the dream stealers. I’ve mentioned them before. Chances are they’re people that they actually love you and they care about you. One day you shared something and they said things like, are you sure? Seems like a lot of work. Famous women are bitches and you are nice. I don’t want you to be disappointed, darling, if it doesn’t work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You get the drift. We’ve heard these words or something similar and they’ve stopped you. I genuinely don’t think people mean you harm when they say these things, but it’s more about them than it is about you. So forgive them for saying these words and forgive yourself for letting them sink into you and impact you the way they did. Remember that you are enough. You are worthy. You have what it takes to do what you want with your life right now.

If a dream is in your heart and your brain like a voice nagging you to do that, bloody dishes, go for it. You owe it to yourself. Nobody else will care about these dreams like you do. They have their own dreams and their own dramas to think about. And when you are working towards your dream, when you’ve got the goals nailed down and know the steps that need to be taken, it’s you. It’s all you doing the work, getting up early, making the calls, learning a new skill, doing the hours of practice. So make your dream count for you, not your parent’s dream, not the dream of that popular person online for you. You have to hold this dream close to you. It’s a precious thing just like you. You have to live it and feel it. So when you journal, I want you to write down your five big dreams every single day as if they’ve already happened.

It’s a done deal, people, I’ll tell you a secret. Well, okay, it’s not a secret anymore. Cause I’m telling you, one of my dreams that I write down every single day is I entertain, educate, and empower thousands of people around the world every single day. Now, do I do that? Hell no, but I will. That clarity of my dream is part of what has me turning up here every month doing the show. I want that clarity for you. I know you have that dream in you, and I believe that you have what it takes to achieve it. So come back here next week, we’re again, we’re gonna look at what you need to do to believe that you can do it. As Henry Ford said, whether you think you can or yeah, think you can’t, you are right.

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOUR ABILITY TO CREATE YOUR DREAMS?

We covered a lot about of beliefs in episode 32 and 33 so I encourage you to go back there and have a look at those. At the most basic level, there are three beliefs. You need to be extraordinary. You need to believe in yourself, you need to believe in others, and you need to believe in possibility. But let’s go deeper and look at the nitty gritty of our beliefs and how they impact your future, every step of the way. Beliefs of what turned dreamers into achievers. I’m not smart enough to study law. I’m taking the classes I need to do to get into law. People from my area never own their own homes. I’m the person changing the generational wealth in my family. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Well, technically it doesn’t, but there’s always more money to be had. These are just a couple of beliefs that are pretty common everywhere. What do you believe to be true about your ability to create your dreams?

That’s all that really matters. It’s not about what the guy that called your fatty, fatty boomsticks believes about your dancing ability. Hell, if that’s what you’re worried about, go watch Liz O’s. Watch Out for the Big Girls. Totally my latest girl crush by the way. Your beliefs are what will keep you from going after each rejected sales call. Your beliefs are what stop you from hitting that snooze button, so let’s make some of them really bloody good ones. You NEED TO, yes, that was all on cap’s people to unshackle yourself from your limiting beliefs in order to achieve your dreams. It’s simply not possible without doing so, I want you to, yep, grab the workbook from samanthaleith.com/freebies and do the work.

What is your dream? If you have more than one, do this exercise for each of them. What are the five things you believe to be true about your ability to reach that extraordinary dream?

Make it really honest. Ouch. Yep. We all hate that bit. Are those beliefs gonna support you? Because it’s these words that go around and around and around in your soul that create either the good guy on one should going write the blog post or that medicine creep on the other shoulder saying, nah, that drama show is way more interesting. If your beliefs support you, yay, I’m doing a happy dance. Now turn off the video and go create that dream. But if they don’t stick with me because we’re gonna flip ’em around, Baby. You so know that if I was JV and I’d do it back flip now, but I can’t do that. I’ve never been able to do that and I’m not gonna try. I want you to take those statements and break them down. Chances are there words like can’t, nobody, never, always, ironically, always can be a really positive word and a belief statement, but some of us usually start off using it as a negative. Like I’m always late. Okay, that’s a simple one to flip. Try on. I always allow enough time.

Now, back to your statements. Nobody respects me. Do you actually know that’s true? I call bullshit unless you’re a narcissistic megalomaniac. Big words, chances are somebody respects you. But what’s more important though, is you respecting yourself. That’s a very powerful thing. Does I am respected, feel better? Maybe you need to take baby steps and think I’m gaining respect. That’s okay. A flip doesn’t have to be instant. You’ve heard me say before, you can’t go from hating your body to loving it, but you can go lovingly in teeny tiny bits. You know, I love my lips because they kiss the people I love. They say words that are meaningful, and I get to sip on Claudia Chamagne. Oh, I’m getting really distracted. Champagne. Anybody, anyone, anyone. One of my most frequent beliefs was I never finish things.

The belief kept me so stuck. I’ve told you that I didn’t try new things in case I was gonna be another example of how I don’t finish things, but I started looking for examples of things I did finish. I had proof that this belief was false. I do finish things. I’ve done it all my life. Now, I believe that I always finish the things that I need and want to finish. Then if I buy a book I don’t enjoy, I don’t punish myself for not finishing it. I don’t want or need to. There is proof in your life of your negative beliefs being false. So if you’re having trouble flipping a belief, go on a hunt for proof in your past, in the lives of others, Nope, not a green light for finding further proof that successful people are evil. Because if you’re looking for that, my dear, you’ll find it too.

Just watch any of the current docus on Netflix. I’ll admit it. Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos was once on my virtual board of advisors, whoopsy, you wanna look for proof of the flip? Look at how many amazing things Oprah’s done or the philanthropic work of Angelina Jolie. We find it closer to home. Is there someone in your life that has done something you deemed successful? That’s a truly gorgeous person. Maybe the guy from the local cafe who seems so happy in life and after all, isn’t that part of success? And he shares that joy every moment of every day with his customers. And if you are still having trouble believing a flip, could you try on it’s possible. Say you’ve got a dream that’s number one on your list and it’s, I am loved and in love with my ideal partner, but your current belief is I’m unlovable. And try as you might, when you flip it, you feel a bit ick. It’s not working. You don’t believe you’re lovable. How about you try on? It’s possible that I’m lovable. You can do this with any belief and it’s a great tool, especially if you can’t find those baby steps of creating a new belief. I know I can be so very predictable and there’s a reason for that. This staff works. I want you to write your new beliefs in your journal, just like you write your dreams for every dream, have a belief that supports it and write it every single day. Say them out loud in a mirror. If it works for you, tap them.

Into existence if that’s your jam, and if you really wanna go further with this, keep a book of beliefs, okay? So it doesn’t have to be like an encyclopedia beliefs. A note on your phone works wonders. Anytime you think of a positive belief, note it down. There may be some gems in there for you to pull out at different stages and seasons of your life. To start you on this bounty of beliefs, I’m gonna give you a few. There are always good opportunities. It feels amazing to step outside my comfort zone. Extraordinary things often take time. Consistent action is better than perfection. I will always find a way. Small steps are still steps. I have everything I need to achieve my goals and dreams already. There’s more than enough time. Tenacity Trump’s talent. I’m able to improve at anything I put my mind to. No is a full sentence. Okay, that one’s a reminder for me. As a recovering people pleaser, I have so often believed that I needed to have a story bigger than war and peace to explain why I couldn’t do something. Nope, no is a full sentence people, and it’s a great belief.

Now, where was I? At the end of the day, I believe in myself, and yes, it’s taken me decades to do so. I believe in people. I believe in the power of possibility. I believe in our ability to create the life of our dreams, and I believe in you. So if you’re struggling to find that belief in yourself, hold on to mine. You are loved. You are worthy. You are enough. Know that at my core, I believe that if you do the work, you truly can be extraordinary.

THE ACT PART OF THE FRAMEWORK

Let’s look at the act part of this framework. Step one, and yes, it’s in the worksheet@samanthaleith.com/freebies. It’s about how you act, how you show up. How would a person who’s achieved this dream show up every day? Would they have a full face of mega bar or would they be in gym gear?

Now, if your dream is to have a worldwide fitness biz, you would probably be in the gym gear. So I, my brain just went to imagine all the outfit combos and all the sneakers. That’d be really cool. Step two is deciding what beliefs that may have got them there. Do you really think that Dita VTIs a belief that women should be shrinking? Violets or Nigella thinks that food is only for survival, I think not people. Then step three is writing out the beliefs that you are gonna try on. We did the work on this last week, but again, as part of the whole repetition thing, I want you to really cement the positive beliefs that’ll get you doing the work. Here’s a really important nugget about beliefs. You ready?

Researchers of Boston College and the University of Houston discovered the power of I don’t versus I can’t. You may listen to those words and think, well, it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s everything. Say you have a goal of dropping some weight. I use this example because it’s so common with my clients. Then someone asks you if you want to really sugary cocktail at a party, you think it’ll taste great, but it goes against your calorie plan. You say, I can’t have any cocktails. You feel disempowered. Maybe you even feel a little bit punished, and as though you are missing out, then you get cranky with yourself and the world. Who the heck decided you can’t have a cocktail? Why is everything so bloody restrictive? Nobody’s your boss. So you have the cocktail. You enjoy the taste that you go home hating yourself. You have let yourself down yet again. But if you flip that can to, I don’t. It all changes. I don’t drink cocktails as your response, and you’ll order a vodka and soda and you feel empowered, strong.  You’ve chosen in favor of your goal. You’re in charge of your life. You have a great night and you go home knowing that you totally have your own back. You honor the commitments that you make to yourself. That’s power. That’s a great belief.

Step four is thinking about what actions they would take every single day. Some of them you may know, others you might need to imagine, but chances are you probably won’t be too far off. If your dream is to be at the top of your mlm, passing your mentor, and don’t worry, worry. They’d be really excited for you. You know that an action they take every day is to make a certain number of phone calls. I’m gonna repeat every single day a lot during this process. It’s so very important. Consistency is gold. If I look at the people I most respect in business and in life, consistency is probably the biggest commonality that, and they’re all fucking fabulous.

Whilst a dream isn’t as quantifiable as a goal, these actions work in the same way. KVT here folks. Do not overdo it. All right? Just don’t. If you write out a list of 52, cause I really like that number, steps that you need to take every single day, you will not do them. You will go into an overwhelm meltdown. Your thoughts will have you feeling incompetent, and you’ll believe that it’s all impossible. Then you’ll take no action other than becoming BFFs with a bottle of wine, a block of chocolate, and the latest trending shows on Netflix, and yep, speaking from experience <laugh> and what will you have been achieving? Nada.

Step six, side note here, I’ve never in these shows done steps, and I don’t know why I am now, but it kind of works. You know where I’m gonna go now, steps makes me think of a certain band. My boots scooting baby is driving me crazy. My obsession with Western, my dance for a date, my rodeo, Romeo and Cowboy girl from Head to toe, gonna make you mine, gonne get in line, 5, 6, 7, 8. Okay, even funnier. When I was writing down this script, I wrote the lyrics because it was what was running through my mind. Then I thought, shit, better check down the right lyrics. Oh, I was wrong. I’ve always said my dance floor days and then cowboy garb from head to toe, whoopsy. Anyway, stop getting distracted. Samantha, where was I?

Step seven is making sure these daily actions are in whatever calendar scheduling system you use.

Then step eight, it’s about actually doing the actions, not just these steps.

Our brains, the most powerful, amazing things that they are, can change and morph into the directions we want them to. So this act section is about giving them more proof that all of this is possible. Each time we choose a new belief, we strengthen our growth mentality, and each time we take action, we show ourselves that we are committed. Thus strengthening our confidence stack and the belief we have in ourselves.

Our brains don’t know the difference between us wearing the power suit because we’ve got a really big presentation or wearing it because we’re are making the phone calls to get the really big presentation because we’re showing up as if it’s already done. Our brains are wired to hear the stories we tell ourselves, so make the stories running like one of those longest running soaps. Really good ones.

Let the stories supporting you to take action, be one of positivity, not of, I’m trying, but it’s so hard as a song says, I get knocked down, but I get up again.

FOCUS ON THE ACTIONS

Really feeling very musical today. Action is all about bounce stability, failing, learning, trying again, feeling bad, thinking about it, working out how to feel better and doing it. Action is about going from being a dreamer to a doer. Some other tips that are gonna help you with this, take responsibility for your life. Create a daily success formula that supports where you are going. Episodes 1-5, if you want a refresher, visualize yourself taking these actions back to that tricking the brain thing again, know your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, and by that I mean what’s driving you from your deepest core desires, intrinsic and the external driving forces like a change in society or a reward like promotion that’s extrinsic. You wanna reduce your stress levels and look after your health. Let’s face it, it helps with everything. So you need that to be a priority in your life. Yeah, you do.

You wanna create an environment for success. A messy house is not gonna help you achieve your dreams. That chaos will bleed into your mind and your heart. You wanna build a support network to support your dreams. It might be a mastermind group with friends or paid, or it could be a coach that you wanna work with one-on-one. You wanna own your calendar, you wanna take action even when you don’t feel like it and you wanna manage your mind. You wanna build a dream board and surround yourself with constant reminders of where you’re going. Your phone alerts, your wallpaper posts, songs spoken about it all before, and finally focus on the actions, the act of achievement, not the final result. Hang on, Sam, I’m confused. You said you wanted me to dream big and visualize it. I do. But if you only focus on the bigger picture, you may fall down when you don’t see those results happening.

By focusing on the actions. Instead, you’re more likely to see change and to appreciate it, thus increasing your desire to take more action. And the words of Roy T. Bennett, dreams don’t work unless you take action. The surest way to make sure your dreams come true is to live them.

ACHIEVING YOUR DREAM

What exactly am I gonna do in this episode? Achieve seems so, yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe I should have been a bottle of champagne and celebrate all that you’ve done there. That’ll loop. Nope. Nope. Your dreams are not a one undone thing, people. If you truly have have a growth mindset, by the time you’ve come close to achieving a dream, you’ve probably come up with another one. Yeah, you know I’m right. You know what I mean? You start working towards running that 5k, and as you get fitter and feel better about yourself, you think of the next thing you wanna achieve, doesn’t even have to be in the same arena.

Our big dreams are just like this. At our core. We want more, and I’m not talking about not ever being satisfied because that can get you into a whole lot of trouble. After all, we have to have gratitude for where we are right now in order to achieve more. Let’s tie the whole dream, believe, act, and achieve framework together. One of the most universally believed ideas is that our thoughts create our feelings, which determine our actions, which lead to our results. Many a wise person has spoken about this in their own way because it’s true. Our mind is responsible for everything in our lives, so wanna help support you to achieve your dreams. You gotta use your mind to achieve your dreams. Back to the worksheet. Yep, samanthaleith.com/freebies, but you should have probably downloaded it by now, people. I want you to cement the last couple of weeks, so we’re gonna write it down again.

Repetition is so good for us. I mean, how many of you could still do all your timetables if I asked you to? I know D B A A isn’t a great acronym, but it’s  DBAA what I’ve got. Maybe I could jumble it up and call it bad. Anyway. In the D section, I want you to write one of your dreams, easy. In the B section, I want you to write the belief or beliefs you need to achieve that dream. In the A section I want, I should like do that. I want you to write the actions you need to take every single day to achieve the dream. And before we get to the last bonus, a section, I’m gonna explain it in greater detail. It may seem confusing me asking you to write how you’ll know you’ve achieved this dream and what you’re gonna do to celebrate it. Probably because it is a little bit, but it’s not.

Your dream as you wrote, it may be a wee bit three me. They’re not typically a concrete goal, like adding 10,000 people to your email list by the end of 2022. They’re usually more like helping millions through my charity work or being an incredible husband and father. So well, what are the specifics of that? I like to ask my clients, and yes, I do this myself so I can come up with five or 10 concrete things that’ll show you or me that you bloody well did it. Let’s go back to the husband idea, shall we? For some reason, I’m in the mood for love. That’s very tough when you’re single anyway. An incredible husband and father may have things like never traveling for more than two nights for business without taking one or more family members With me, getting the kids ready for school so my wife can go to Pilates. I always remember important dates and events, regular at eight nights. I support my family in any way I can. These micro achievements that form part of your dream are like lighthouses saying this way, this way. And if it works better for you, you can do this step earlier on in the process. We’re gonna stick with Mr. Dreamy here.

He knows to achieve his dream, he has to take certain actions. Some of them might be diarizing important dates with reminders to buy gifts, etcetera. Scheduling and booking fabulous things for one date night, a month, asking at dinner every night if anyone needs anything or how he can help support them booking in his PT for after work. So as mornings are free for the kids. Look, I know some of you might be thinking, bloody hell, Sam, you want us to do all this work more actually doing any of the work, I’m exhausted.

I want you to achieve all your wildest dreams and I know you can. You showed up again for this video, which unless you just wanna see what I’m wearing or listen to my dots and tones means you want more. You want to be extraordinary. You wanna achieve with a capital A. You’ve cultivated your growth mindset so strong that all this stuff is starting to become second nature to you. You wanna do the work every day to live your best life. You’ve ditched the past and you fully present in your life. You know how to choose the thoughts and beliefs that empower you. You know that every time you fail, it’s a greater lesson for your greater good. You decide if in an instant, if something is moving you towards your goals or away from them, your disciplined and your tenacious. You embody the X factor way of having absolute clarity, confidence in yourself, the courage to do the hard things and the charisma it takes to get there.

You never make excuses. You know that you can learn and improve in any area. You don’t tell people around you how to be better. You inspire them by being better yourself. As far as we know, we only get one shot at this thing called life. So why not make it an extraordinary one? And if you’re watching this thinking as I’ve done so many times in my life, it’s too late for me. It’s not. It never is. You may just add your name to the list of the world’s oldest marathon runners. I wish someone had taught me all of this when I was younger, maybe then I wouldn’t have believed that I couldn’t be a famous singer because of my weight, so I never really did all the work. Yeah, I didn’t.

You only have to have sung along to an Adele song at some stage in the last 20 years, 10 years, 15 years, don’t even know. That it’s not true. And even when I was younger, if I’d known to look for proof that that belief was wrong, that it was so achievable, I would’ve been able to find it. It was there it always was. Now, before people message me and say, it’s not too late, remember Samantha, it’s no longer my dream. I still sing sometimes where and when I want to, but that’s singer’s life. No, it’s not what motivates me. This is my stage of life right now as it is yours. Perfect. For right now. It’s your life. You get to change your mind and have priorities and dreams that work for you where you are right now, the dreams and the goals you are chasing.

This show in this format was a dream of mine and I showed up and did the work. I’ve loved every second of it, and now it’s time for a change of how I do it and repeat after me. That’s okay. 52 episodes, 12 songs, frog sets, all the earrings. B-roll out the wazoo. Over 75,000 words pouring out from me with the hope that they entertain, educate, or empower you. And yes, I followed this very debar framework to make it happen. I can’t wait to see what you can achieve as you take the steps to make your dreams happen. Go for it. I totally believe you have what it takes to be extraordinary and this framework is one of the tools that can help you get there and well, to believe in yourself.

Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of the Samantha Leith Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and wanna dive deeper into the world of personal development and what’s possible for you, then I’d love to invite you to join the club. It’s my monthly membership designed to guide and support you with the tools and the coaching you need to be extraordinary. Head on over to samanthaleith.com/theclub for more information. I’d love to see you on the inside.

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Produced by Rebecca Saunders and Pyrmont Studios

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Feeling Good
Songwriters: Anthony Newley / Leslie Bricusse
© Tratore, Universal Music Publishing Group

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Produced by Samantha Leith / Michael Allen
Vocals by Samantha Leith