“Do not judge yourself or others this week. Life will be better.”

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How can you recognize when you’re judging yourself and stop it?
2. How do you stop wearing the “Judgy McJudge Pants” and be kind to yourself?
3. How can you replace negative thoughts with positive ones to stop judging yourself and others?

Chapter Summaries:

[00:00:10]

This week’s episode of the Samantha Leaf podcast is all about judgment. I’m talking about the judgment that we have of ourselves. It seeps into who we are. We need to stop it. We do need to be kind to ourselves in the process.

[00:01:49]

We judge ourselves primarily. First instinct based on looks and then based on our talent or skills. We don’t have permission to judge other people. We’re being mean to ourselves.

HOW CAN YOU RECOGNIZZE WHEN YOU’RE JUDGING YOURSELF AND STOP IT?

Hello, and welcome to the Samantha Leith Podcast, episode 21, yeah, you. How exciting. It’s a quickie.  It’s a car quickie. No, don’t get excited, but every fortnight, I’m going to show in one of these when something just hits me that I want to have a conversation about. And today it is all about judgment. Yes. Our judgy Mikkey judge pants that we have on. I hate to admit it, but a lot of us have them wear our judgment judgment way too often.

And I’m not talking about the judgment that we have of other people, although it does tie into it. I’m talking about the judgment that we have of ourselves and whether we want to admit it or we want to pretend that we never do it, which I know I’m guilty of in the past, we do it, and it seeps into who we are. And it’s like this how can I put it? You know how you’ve got, like, a big rock of salt, those beautiful rocks of salt, and if there’s a little bit of moisture, just kind of little bits go a little bit, go. I think when we have that judgment of ourselves, it’s like it’s just scratching away at the surface of our identity and of our confidence and of who we are.

So I want to go over a couple of examples and just tell you to stop it. And, okay, it’s not that easy. We can just click our fingers and stop judging ourselves. We do need to be kind to ourselves in the process and recognize when we’re doing it and go, oh, okay, yeah, no, not so cool.

HOW DO YOU STOP WEARING THE “JUDGY MCJUDGE PANTS” AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF?

So this week I’ve had conversations with a few people, and I’ve been in a couple of situations where women in particular but it’s not a women only thing.

It’s definitely across the planet we do this. We judge ourselves primarily. First instinct based on looks and then based on our talent or skills, and then we’ll go into other things. But in my experience, those two are the top two, and the first being the looks.

And people go, oh, I’ve had my hair. I’ve got to go behind people in the photo because I don’t like my legs. My legs look terrible. And I want to shout it from the rooftops that people aren’t paying that much attention to your legs or your hair or what you’re wearing or what you’re doing. We’re not that important.

And you think people are judging you, but in fact, it’s just a judgment you have of yourself. You’re saying words like, people don’t like this part about me, or people will see this, or that’s not what I should show the world, etc., when it’s just the judgment you have of yourself. And I want you to notice when you’re doing it because you’re beautiful. You’re amazing. You’re fantastic.

It doesn’t matter what size you are, how old you are, how big you are, how skinny you are, whether you’ve run a marathon, whether you can’t do ten jumping jacks. And I, for one, think those things should never have been invented. And let’s not mention burpees, like, who came up with those? Really bad idea. It’s not about that kind of thing.

We judge ourselves on these superficial things that are so insignificant. They really are. I caught my daughter the other day saying something about her droopy eyelid, and I was like, no, I mean, no, stop. Your eyelids are beautiful. They’re perfect for you.

Maybe you want to look at different ways of doing makeup to accentuate your eyes and the beauty of them, but we don’t put on those judgment judge pants and say something bad about those eyelids. We have to stop that. And I might sound like I’m standing on top of a soapbox going, I’m perfect. I never judge myself. Totally not true.

I judge myself all the time, but I’m acutely aware of it, and I can hear that voice just I don’t even have to say the words. It’s more a feeling. I can feel it in my bones when I’m starting to judge myself about something in all aspects of my life, whether it be my parenting, how I’m looking, what I’ve done, what I haven’t done. And as soon as I start to feel, I’m like, oh, what’s going on here? I’m like no, hang on.

What’s the reality? No, that’s not true. I’m just being mean to myself. We’re being mean to ourselves, and whether we want to admit it or not, chances are if we’re wearing those judgment judge pants it’s really hard to say, by the way, for ourselves. We quite often are wearing them for other people as well.

And we will be someone in the street, or we’ll see something online or we’ll hear something in a conversation, and we’ll instantly have that filter of, oh, don’t know about that. We might not say it, but if we think it, it then almost gives us permission to do it to ourselves as well. And it doesn’t really doesn’t. We don’t have permission to judge other people. We don’t have permission to judge ourselves.

If you’re religious, which I’m not, you might think that, okay, we die. We go to the heaven, or we go wherever it is we go, and we sit in judgment for our sins, what we’ve done, etc. I don’t believe in that. But some people will believe that there’s a point in our lives where we get to be judged. No, I don’t believe there’s ever a point in our lives where we get to be judged, especially not of ourselves.

HOW CAN YOU REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE ONES TO STOP JUDGING YOURSELF AND OTHERS?

Now, I’ll add something here. If you’re being critical of yourself because of something you want to and can improve, like, okay, I’m lacking those business skills, so I want to build on those. I noticed I was a bit weak when I tried to open that today. Maybe I do some more work on my arm muscles or my strengths, that’s fine. That’s not what I’m talking about.

Talking about that languaging and that feeling is like, I’m too stupid to do that, or, oh, my God, my arms are so weak. I can’t do that. Or can’t wear that. Look at my thighs, or, no, I’m not talented enough to do that. Those kind of judgments, okay?

Not something that you can actually work on, but just that total base negativity. We have to stop that. So it’s a quickie, as I said. So I’m out of here. But I want you to know, and if you can’t click onto it straight away because it’s not a said and done thing, please notice those moments where you have put on those judgments of yourself and of others and try and stop yourself.

Try and find something that’s opposite, really opposite to what you’re actually thinking in that moment and negatively find something positive and go with that. Okay? So here’s tips to you my friends. Do not judge yourself or others this week. Life will be better.

And I’ll see you next week. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of the Samantha Leith Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and wanna dive deeper into the world of personal development and what’s possible for you, then I’d love to invite you to join the club. It’s my monthly membership designed to guide and support you with the tools and the coaching you need to be extraordinary. Head on over to samanthaleith.com/theclub for more information. I’d love to see you on the inside.