I have a confession.
This has been a crap year for me.
As a lifelong Penelope Positive, I found it harder and harder to see the bright lights and even harder to share how I was really feeling.
It wasn’t technically depression.
It wasn’t technically burnout.
It wasn’t technically long covid.
It was a good old fashioned funk.
A kind of malaise had taken hold and I didn’t know how to shake it.
I teach this stuff.
I coach this stuff.
Why couldn’t I simply ‘snap’ out of it?
I still showed up where I needed to and ticked the boxes that needing ticking, but I was letting myself & others down more & more. With the great pile of undone getting so large even Edmund Hillary would have had a hard time getting to the top of.
My get up and go, got up and left as my mother would say.
I thought I was coming out of it one day, when I didn’t hit next level on yet another round of Candy Crush.
I thought I was coming out of it one day, when I actually did everything that was on my to do list that day.
The despondency returned faster than I could turn on Netflix.
ALL of the things that I KNEW would make me feel better were getting harder to do and even more infrequent.
I was showing up online, still armed with my razzle dazzle, feeling fake even when I knew this was still how I was underneath this cloak of ‘who gives a f’.
My relationships took a hit.
My business took a hit.
My health took a hit.
You know those lyrics ‘I get knocked down, but I get up again’? I have prided myself on my ability to do this, and whilst I believe it has served me so well, this year my inability to do so only served to remind me that I was flailing around like a fish out of water, unsure of what to do or how to help myself.
Then one day, without even thinking, I added something positive into my life and removed something negative.
That night I slept without the insidious veil of shame clouding my dreams.
The next day, when I woke, I didn’t instantly reach for something external to give me the dopamine rush I needed.
Instead, I took some time to think about an area of my life without the lens of hopelessness. As the day went on, I added something positive into that area and removed something negative.
They say there’s usually a turning point for change.
Hitting rock bottom.
A metaphorical slap in the face by a loved one.
None of these happened for me, and I wish I could say I knew what the clincher was, but I don’t.
In hindsight, I know that the single biggest problem in my 2022, was me not honouring the commitments I made to myself. It was a slippery slope that started with a gentle fall and grew in pace till I was drowning in lost promises.
I know, had I gone in with a battle cry and ‘made’ myself do those things, I probably wouldn’t have been able to maintain them.
I wanted and needed to go back to being me.
It took me 10 days to feel like Samantha Leith again.
At about day 5 I started writing down what I was doing.
Maybe this could help someone else, weary of how they were feeling and tired by all the action they weren’t taking.
Now a couple of months later, my Daily Success Formula looks a little different, but it is better than ever, and the best part is, I’m not telling myself off when it’s not as planned.
I’m kinder to myself.
I have set new goals.
I’m changing how my business works.
I’ve made some extraordinary plans for 2023.
And now, I am sharing with you my 10 Day Reset Challenge.
It’s completely free and I would love for you to join me in this debut round.
We start on Monday 5th December and there will be a live chat every morning at 7am (recordings available) and each day you will have an exercise to do on a particular area as well as the oh so simple, adding something positive and removing something negative that I did.
Let’s all end 2022 feeling fabulous and ready to dance our way into 2023.